Ouch! Looks like you're having a bad day. 1 - It's not unusual to have grain mismatch, going in opposite directions, when doing a glue-up. Unless you really pay attention, that's likely to happen. Even if you try, you could still end up with spots where the waviness in the grain causes you problems. The solution is to plane across the grain, at about a 45-degree angle. You'll need a really sharp hand plane to do that and to take the thinnest shavings you can, but that's the best solution to your problem. 2 - There are several things here. First, it looks like you've tried to make that juice groove really close to the edge of your cutting board and used a router bit that's leaving a square bottom. Juice grooves are usually more rounded. At this point, you're probably going to have to cut off the bad juice groove, making the board smaller. But at least you'll be able to salvage it. You said you're using a board to help you make a straight line. What most people do is to make or buy an adjustable-size frame, called a "juice groove jig." Do a quick Google search and you'll find both commercial ones and pictures of DIY ones. That will give you straight lines all around. But even with that, make sure that you hold your router's base firmly up against the jig, as it might want to wander away. I'd also recommend buying a different router bit. There are bits made just for juice grooves. But if you want to save money, you can buy a set of bullnose router bits and pick the appropriate size. Even cheaper is to buy a set of bowl-making router bits and use the smallest size.

David, that's a homemade thin rip gauge, from a short I recorded about two years ago.

Nice. How big is it?

Happy New Year, Agnes. Let's make this a year of sawdust.