Basically theres this girl that I developed a bit of a crush on without knowing who she was. So to prioritize my peace I kicked her out of my mind cause I needed to focus on myself. Recently I’ve been seeing her a bit more and I want to try and spark something, anything. Ive been trying to get more comfortable with small talk so ive been talking to more people, ive been observing things and commenting on them. But I just freeze or do my own thing when its her, either she has nothing to comment on or I am afraid of just trying, I feel like im overthinking things. I tell my mind that i dont want to make it obvious i want to know her but isnt that exactly what I want? I want to try something, some people ive asked have said to just shoot the shot cause Ive got nothing to lose, others have said to not force anything, and others have said to kinds force something but dont make anything obvious. At this point its more about me than a connection, but hey a connection would be nice.

A while ago I sent a message where I was looking for advice on getting to know someone new, and I recieved plenty of helpful and caring messages that I am very thankful for (happy thanksgiving!). You guys were right, she is just a normal person, and luckily quite easy to talk to. I was completely overthinking it. Just an update to say that i plan on asking for her number soon, and that isnt something I can overthink, so im confident in my ability to shoot my shot. Im not really thinking about what i think shes thinking cause mind reading is a negative thought process, all I know is that i want to get to know her and i might as well try. Just wanted to say thank you cause i wouldnt be in the situation of trying to shoot a shot if it wasnt for you guys.

Just writing to clear my head. Its been a rough patch, ive been happy, but my self control has been down the drain. Skipping workouts, not meditating, eating not the best, doomscrolling, everything. However im not gonna let it consume me, so im gonna pull myself back up. I deleted youtube, so I now have 0 social media at all, I watch the helpful content like shimon and others’ on a browser on my computer. Im talking to more people, just observing things im finding interesting and talking about it. Im changing up my workout routine to the night because the morning wasnt working. Im trying to work towards my goals and passion projects, and though its been a weird change of pace, its starting to work, now I just have to keep at it.

I've been keeping daily progress and sharing my progress with reparenting and just reach episode 538 of my daily podcast. It's a free podcast where I document my progress and share lessons I wish I had learned earlier. It's really been helping me to stay focused. Seeing so many others making porgress here is motivating me even more to take it to the next level. Thanks for all the encouragement guys! I love to see everyone's progress!

So I have been on my journey of self improvement and maturity, becoming the best version of myself possible. Before I continue I would like to say that I am a human, and i have my vices. Im working on self control, talking to people, discipline, and refining pretty much everything even if it is solid. I have my vices, but what I will say is that I try to be the best version of myself, and I am self aware of all of those issues and trying to fix them. With that being said, I feel so far ahead if everyone around me. Im in highschool and even though ive been in highschool for 2.5 years, it still suprises me at how stupid some of these people who are the same age as me or even older are. Its not that Im the smartest and most mature person Ive ever met, its that nobody has given me any proof that theyre on my wavelength. People are just okay with their vices and are fine with mediocrity, others are making the stupidest decisions you could ever make, others just dont have the proper knowledge to deal with conflict or problems. My group of close friends has been dwindling cause the more mature and aware I get, the more I realize that x person is making toxic decisions, y person has horrible advice and decision making, or z person is consumed with jealousy over me. (Im still willing to be friends with those people, but I dont hold them close to me anymore) It hasnt become more lonely, but its become much more alone. I value my connections, my close friends are really close and I dont see them leaving anytime soon, they arent perfect and have their own issues like any human, but theyre aware and they care, plus theyre for sure the people in my closest to my range of maturity and knowledge on things like emotions and self improvement) So the point of this rant is that, I desire romance, like any person. Ive grown past the romance is everything stage (i dont make the same mistake twice lmao) but I would be lying to you if I said I didnt want to be held from time to time. I choose myself and give myself love as much as I can, but there is something really special about something out of your control happening to you for you. The problem is, Im surrounded by people who, are not at all dumb for highschoolers, but at the end of the day are not people who are mature enough to where Id feel comfortable letting them in close. Whether its lack of confidence or poor communication or a need for others’ validation or a lack of drive to be better, I cant see myself keeping my peace if I got with any of them. The things ive been told so far are to either…