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Mental Load Basics

625 members • Free

4 contributions to Mental Load Basics
Tough Morning Emotion Wheel
One of the skills I am working on and I’m training both men and women to do is improve their emotional literacy by naming emotions with the emotion wheel. This morning was tough here is the exercise: Sad: that I’ve caused enough mistrust in safety that Alyssa felt it was important to drive Everly into school with the rain snow/slush ice Shame: when Alyssa pointed out that the stairs we really slippery and I didn’t salt them because they didn’t feel treturous and I wasn’t thinking it needed salt because it was now raining Guilt: when Alyssa was getting our toddler ready and Everly was struggling to cooperate and didn’t want to leave from Alyssa, I’m pretty sure it was because I listened to an audiobook yesterday during our ride rather than the normal music she enjoys. I never processed that hurt with Ev Fear: that if I’d driven out toddler in today that I might not have taken the conditions seriously and could have been in an accident Hurt: when Alyssa raised her voice with me when i was thinking we were going to have Ev suck it up and just get in the car while upset when she meant to close the door and bring her inside. Lonely: while I was left here at home and can’t find my journal Joy: that Alyssa and I have been doing so much emotional naming that I don’t feel hopeless that this morning upset will drag further
1 like • Feb 13
I appreciate you took the time to explain those emotions and where you feel they land or extend from!
Whats the conversation you aren't getting past...
Every home that is struggling with equality of invisible labor has a conversation they are struggling with that takes on different flavors, which one are you struggling with the most?
1 like • Feb 8
@Zach Watson he is a machinist. And I do think that was modeled for him. His dad worked a lot of overtime, and his mom was primary caregiver and household taskmaster. She worked part time out of the house when he and his sisters were teens, and prior to that she worked some evening hours teaching piano out of the home.
1 like • Feb 8
@Zach Watson off and on. We share the ups and downs regularly, but not often the deeper conversations about his career specifically. He is good at his career; Kevin has worked in his trade for 15 years. He had opportunity to move up and take on leadership a few years ago, but some variables prevented that, along with his personal choice to stay linear. Also stress and burnout from poor upper management. He is with a new, more family-friendly company now, supported by colleagues and more room to breathe. We do need to have a talk about where he wants his career to lead from here. I am in a sweet spot for career right now; After MUCH trial and error working in and out of the home, better regulating my ADHD symptoms, and my kids are in school full days now. I have started to figure out what works for my energy, passions, and family schedule. I feel a large part of my paid workload is truly “unicorn” space.
How far into the Fair Play Method Are you?
Hearing for first time? Have the book, gathering dust? Started, stopped Read a fair amount, haven’t implemented cards Had 1 talk with cards, and never revisited? Revisiting consistently
1 like • Feb 7
I read the book over past month: now I am working through the check-in chapter as we approach one week of using the cards. It took 4 nights of a couple hours each to get through distributing the cards- some quite easy to assign, and others some heated discussions of what the standards should be.
1 like • Feb 8
@Zach Watson oh I agree. It took way too long. I didn’t expect nor desire that; but also hubby was struggling with being on board and seeing why I wanted to change the status quo. It was the first time going through the cards so I expect that maintenance won’t be that arduous!
What part of the world are you here from?
If you’re open to it I’d love to hear what your family looks like too?
2 likes • Feb 5
Leduc, Alberta, Canada- just south of Edmonton. Married 13 years, 3 kids- ages almost-12, 9.5, and 6. Two pets; large dog and a lovebird. Neurodivergent household We both work full-time— hubby is regular hours in daytime, and I am all over the place with hours and days to accommodate kids’ schedules.
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Lauren Carleton
2
7points to level up
@lauren-carleton-8943
Dancer, early child hood professional, love to sing, married 13 years. I have 3 kids ages 6, 9, and 12

Active 290d ago
Joined Feb 3, 2025
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