In The Boy with the Blue Bike, Leo visits a mysterious neighborhood called Whisperwood. A little girl walks up and whispers a secret to him: "You have to try the strawberry Danish—they don't display it. It's a secret!" She tells him that the best stuff isn't always on display for everyone to see. This is your permission slip for the weekend. Do you remember that "jiggle" inside you when you were a kid? That electric rush of sneaking a second cookie from Grandma? Or the thrill of pointing your tires down that one "forbidden hill" and just letting go of the brakes? In the book, Leo and Jasper chase that feeling in Echo Ridge. When the noise of the world gets too loud, they don't just sit there. They race downhill. Leo says: "It's downhill. You know my bike is so fast, right? ... Three, two, one, let's go!" As adults (and especially as solo parents), we often lose that jiggle. We trade the downhill races for uphill battles. We share our space, our energy, our money, and usually... half our fries. But to stay sane, you need your own "Secret Strawberry Danish." You need to spark that jiggle again. The Truth: We love our kids endlessly. But we need to love ourselves, too. It is simple emotional math: The happier we are, the happier they will be. You cannot pour from an empty cup, and you certainly can't teach them joy if you've forgotten how to feel it yourself. 👇 Tell me below (we won't tell the kids): What sparks that "jiggle" for you now? Is it a specific song? A secret treat? A solo drive? Let us know what you are doing this weekend to make yourself smile.

"It takes a village to raise a child." We hear this all the time. But for many of us—especially those of us solo parenting abroad—the reality is very different. We don't have a village. So, we become the village. We try to be the mother, the father, the aunt, the uncle, and the teacher all at once. This leads to burnout—not just physical exhaustion, but mental depletion. When we are in that state of survival, it is hard to be truly present. But there is a second, harder struggle: What happens when your co-parent does have a village, but you realize that is where the dysfunction comes from? Maybe they hand the kids off to grandparents to avoid doing the work themselves. Maybe that family never broke the cycle of trauma. They might love your children in their own way, but as we know, love on that side isn't always healthy. It often comes with "traumatic traditions." The Double Burden This doubles your workload. You aren't just raising your children; you are constantly working to protect them from that toxic environment and debrief them when they return. Your Home is the Burst of Color It reminds me of a moment in The Boy with the Blue Bike. After leaving the gray, rigid neighborhood of Stonehaven, Leo describes the feeling of finally crossing back into his own safe reality: "Heading out of the neighborhood, we pass all the gray. As soon as we cross the border, we experience a burst of color. Even Chippy feels it, and it looks like he is smiling all the way home." You are that burst of color. When your children leave the "gray" of the other home and cross the border back to you, they can finally exhale. It is easy to panic and feel like the "toxic village" will ruin your children. But here is a psychological fact to ground you, The Power of ONE : The "One Stable Adult" Rule: Research from the Harvard Center on the Developing Child shows that resilience doesn't require a perfect community. The single most common factor for children who thrive despite adversity is at least one stable and committed relationship with a supportive parent.

In my book, The Boy with the Blue Bike, Leo visits a neighborhood called Mirrorland. On the surface, it’s a place filled with shiny glass buildings. But the deeper truth? It is a metaphor for the confusing, empty world of a narcissist. Does this sound familiar? - The Warped Reality (Gaslighting): In the story, the people's reflections constantly change—one minute stretched, the next puffy. The reality never stays still. Narcissists do this to us. They shift the narrative so fast that we don't know which version of them (or ourselves) is real. - The Denial of Truth: Leo points to a chocolate tart in the bakery, and the baker asks, "Are you sure that's a tart?". He questions Leo's own eyes. This is classic gaslighting. They make you doubt the plain facts standing right in front of you. - The Emptiness: Leo notices that despite the shiny exterior, everyone is just staring at themselves, and "It all feels so empty". Your Tactical Truth for Today: In the book, Leo and Jasper realize they can't trust the visual reflections because they are all mazes and tricks. Instead, they close their eyes and trust their other senses—they follow the smell of fresh bread to find the truth. Stop trying to make sense of their mirrors. The narcissist's reflection of you is warped. It is not real. Like Leo, you have to stop looking at their "glass maze" and trust your own gut again. 👇 Tell me below: What is one "warped truth" or lie the narcissist tried to tell you about yourself that you are refusing to believe today?

How many of you thought the abuse would stop the moment you signed the divorce papers? I’m guessing the great majority of us have been there. Signing those papers is a massive release, but often, it doesn't end there. An abuser cannot stand losing control. In some cases, losing that legal tether makes them desperate to grab power in other ways. Their tactics often remain the same—methods that usually carry the emotional maturity of a seven-year-old. The Strategy: Chaos Manufacturing They thrive on chaos. Their best option is to throw you off your feet, rattling you so fast you don't have time to think. They bombard you with a false sense of urgency, often sprinkled with DARVO (Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender). Your Superpower: The Pause ⏸️ When the noise gets loud, your superpower is pausing. In my book, The Boy with the Blue Bike, Leo visits a neighborhood called "Echo Ridge." It is a place so loud and chaotic that he can’t even hear himself think. But he finds a high hill, and suddenly, "It feels like this hill is an island, and there is no more noise around". You must become that island. If you don't engage immediately in their spiral, they lose. You win clarity. The narc will question why you aren't responding to the chaos they worked so hard to create. While they scramble, you get to take a breath and see their tactics for what they are. You aren't the person who fell for this in the past. You are stronger. You are a Superparent. The Science: Why it Gets Worse Before it Gets Better You mentioned they might go "kamikaze style" when you stop reacting. There is a psychological fact behind this: The Extinction Burst: In behavioral psychology, when you stop reinforcing a behavior (by refusing to give them the reaction they want), the behavior will often spike in intensity before it stops. They will flood you with noise, blame-shifting, and victimization in a desperate "burst" to force you back into the old pattern. Don't be fooled. This sudden increase in craziness isn't a sign you are losing; it is a sign your boundaries are working.

Hey everyone. As we count down the last 11 days to the launch of The Boy with the Blue Bike, I wanted to share one of the most personal illustrations from the book with you: Stonehaven. In the story, Leo and Jasper visit a neighborhood made entirely of gray stone. The people there are efficient and professional, but they are completely colorless. They rush around, hiding their feelings behind gray suits and silence. As a single dad, I know this place intimately. I call it "Survival Mode." It’s that headspace where we shut down our emotions just to get through the logistics of the day. We become "gray rocks"—solid, dependable, but hiding our true colors because we feel like we can't afford to be messy or vulnerable. I wrote this chapter to remind myself (and my son) that while Stonehaven feels safe, it’s a lonely place to live. We have to find those moments—like the man with the orange tie in the picture—to let our true colors poke through. This community is one of the few places I feel safe taking off the "gray suit." I can't wait to share the full journey with you all on Jan 20. https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/thebluebike/the-boy-with-the-blue-bike Thanks for helping me stay colorful.