Is there anyone who can help with interpreting dreams?

The last job I was in my back stiffed up and gave out. My counselor expressed I was somatisizing and expressed my needs for medication. At this point I’ve made a choice to take it more on needing to be able to secure a place for me and my family to live. I seem to have learned my own sensitivity abilities and behavior but what I’m asking is advice on being able to work with my body when words don’t workout to help me be able to even work now or even spend time with loved once. Yes chances are anxiety or fear is behind it. I’ve had moment when laying down and I shake and cry and I smile. Jobs right now have been something I couldn’t do because of the inability to even lift 20 pounds. I even had trouble putting away a towel when I spent a day with my sisters at the beach and my back gave out. I’m open to suggestions I’ve done pretty much everything as to breathwork, meditation but no it’s just becomes a temporary help.

Today marks a day of understanding a need to embrace softness and vulnerability. I come here to ask for advice on where would one be able to start. I understand it starts with me but where would I go about. Living in NYC it seems more of it’s like you gotta pay to get to point a to b but I don’t believe that. But it also shows me how even natural things have been put into hey you gotta pay 50$ to breath. As for routine of breathwork it seems due to heaviness it’s become a little difficult to process and more now that job search has become difficult.but again any advice would be amazing.

Okay today it’s clear I’ve been isolating, I’ve been having trouble trusting in myself and surrendering, difficulties with connecting and balancing. It’s difficult to feel what is my energy and or self and what isn’t. I’ve had a panic attack a day ago and started a job that I couldn’t even be physically capable of doing simple tasks to the point I ended up needing to get on the floor and stretch. Now I’m looking for a new job since the previous one had to let me go. Therapy isn’t helping only advising me to take prescription pill. Only friend seems to be in his own problem and as for family I understand they have their own incompatibility to provide with emotional support. I’ve come to terms with the unhealthy asking of support and the fear or pride that is preventing me from asking what I truly need or even if I need anything. It feels like I’m being pulled from left to right and deep down I just want to yell. I don’t know what to do. I’m here for advice tho as for regulating it seems I’m pushing them away then actually sitting down to untangle and when I do try it’s like there’s intensity there.

I’ve come to realize my need of help with learning to trust the process and someone who can be there. I’ve been by myself, one thing I’ve been asked is about passion and it’s what causes me to stop and think or go blank. The people around me I understand are dealing with their own problems but as for me it’s expected for me to know and now im putting too much expectations on myself to the point Im forgetting to rest or wake up with overthinking. My focus has been this week to sit down and let whatever feelings rise up. I’m not the best at being myself I put a smile and pretend I’m okay or at times I don’t notice I’m putting a smile. I may just be needing support.