I completed my last day of the Loaring Consistency Challenge in the snow yesterday. It wasn't easy, but I got it done for the second straight year. I'm looking forward to participating in the HOHO Holiday 5k later this month as well. I took a well deserved rest today to heal up after 30 days of exercise, but I will be back at it soon enough... https://raceroster.com/events/2025/108980/loaring-consistency-challenge-2025/pledge/participant/41040287

I had a moment to just sit and let myself calm down enough to sink into something. The moment I hear either ringing or yelling. Soon I’m spinning around in a room or apartment that looks kind of run down. I’m feeling as tho I’m a baby flying around. I’m either then sitting looking around or looking at myself and I see mom mother on the phone and dad on the tv and I’m just being a baby. Soon my mom is getting into her night gown and dad is going to bed. They’re about to get intimate. Baby me notices and minds his business by playing with a toy. Soon my uncle comes out of the bed saying how they both have to start taking their life serious and points at how they are living but also looks at my mom like an act almost to get my dad mostly to take charge of his life. My mom leaves upset and my dad runs to the bathroom upset but in tears and either starts to take meds or drugs as I see some brown puddle on the floor. Then all I hear and see is bathroom mirror break and baby me lying on the floor with a shard on his head. My parents just looking at him with fear and shock speechless. Has anyone experienced this?

When I first got into dropshipping, I was fueled by excitement and big dreams. I thought I finally found the thing that would give me freedom no boss, no schedule, just me building something that could change my life. So, I went all in. I spent nights designing my website, testing products, running ads, trying to understand analytics that didn’t make sense to me yet. Every notification on my phone made my heart skip hoping it was a sale. But most of the time, it wasn’t. My first store failed. I told myself it was part of the process that all entrepreneurs fail before they succeed. So, I tried again. I built another store, with more experience this time, more passion, more hunger to prove I could do it. But it failed again. The second time hurt differently. I wasn’t just tired; I was mentally drained .There’s a kind of silence that hits after you put your heart into something and it still doesn’t work, a silence that makes you question everything .Maybe I wasn’t good enough. Maybe I wasn’t meant for this. But deep down, I knew I didn’t fail because I wasn’t capable. I failed because I was trying to do everything alone. I was the marketer, the customer service rep, the web designer, the manager, and the problem solver all in one person .And that’s not sustainable. Then something shifted. I decided to get help. I brought in an Executive Assistant (EA) someone who could support me, organize my chaos, and take over the things that were draining my energy and time. At first, it felt strange letting someone into something so personal my business, my dream, my mess. But slowly, I started noticing the difference. For the first time, I wasn’t waking up overwhelmed. I wasn’t juggling 10 things and dropping 5. My mind was clearer, my focus sharper. I could finally think about growth, not just survival. And that’s when things started to turn around. With that support, I rebuilt my systems, re-launched my store, and slowly started seeing progress again. Not overnight but steadily. Then one day, I realized I had done it. I had finally hit my first 5-figure milestone.

Only 2 more days to go to complete my 2nd year of my Loaring Consistency Challenge in support of Soldier On Veterans charity 💪 My knee and ankle were much better today and was not as sore as earlier in the week. I am definitely going to celebrate on the 30th. Not only will I be celebrating completing my Loaring Consistency Challenge, my niece will also be turning 18!!! https://raceroster.com/events/2025/108980/loaring-consistency-challenge-2025/pledge/participant/41040287

This month I went offline as much as possible to reconnect with myself. I found myself hearing harsh self criticism, blaming, fear, verbal abuse. Last night a big part arose and gave me a realization I’m disconnected from meaning and purpose but most importantly I’m not good with emotional support or even receiving it in a healthy way. The city isn’t a pretty place and many are too busy or are just not people I should be going to. I’ve been having a hard time just expressing what I feel but today it’s clear I feel hopeless, a failure, scared and a sense of giving up. But then I ask what then was the struggle for? What then was the tears you shed almost every day? To be honest as I grew up I wanted to change the world and show people they had potential within themselves if they stopped and looked but I didn’t realize I also needed to do the same. Boundaries and speaking up for yourself plus sensitivity and vulnerability are my biggest struggles. Oh and of course regulating my emotions. Sounds like narcissism and you’re possibly right. But at least I’m being honest and trying to let go of the mask. I don’t know why I wrote this but one thing I do know I’m working on it. Oh I do ask too no validation on this I’m trying to let go of needing external validation.