How to Break Through Personal Development Plateaus Have you ever noticed that personal development often begins at rock bottom? People hit a crisis point, a state of emotional discomfort so intense that staying the same becomes unbearable. Tony Robbins puts it well: “The pain of change becomes less than the pain of staying the same.” This crisis sparks action, pushing individuals out of stasis and into transformation. But what happens next? After some initial progress and relief, many people hit a plateau. The crisis is over, the immediate discomfort is relieved, and they slip back into familiar patterns. They find themselves stuck again, comfortable yet unfulfilled. Why Do People Plateau? The human brain is wired for conservation—of energy, resources, and familiarity. It seeks to maintain stasis, resisting change unless absolutely necessary. This means that even after making some progress, the brain tries to settle back into what’s comfortable. When people start feeling better, their motivation often wanes. The urgency is gone, and they stop pushing themselves. This is incredibly common and something I’ve seen time and time again. The Pattern of Relapse During my time with live Brojo meetups, I observed a recurring pattern. A man would join, desperate due to struggles in his romantic life. His crisis would push him to try something new, like radical honesty. Initially, it worked. He would start to see success, maybe even get into a relationship. And then, like clockwork, he would disappear. What happened? He got comfortable. The relationship brought temporary relief, and he stopped doing the things that had brought him success. Inevitably, the old behaviors crept back in, eroding the relationship. Some would return, confused about why things had fallen apart. The Brain’s Resistance to Change Our brains are designed to resist change because change is hard. It requires energy and effort, both of which the brain would rather conserve. The brain prefers familiar discomfort over unfamiliar effort. This is why it’s so easy to fall back into old habits once the initial crisis is over.

Do you think having a shower is no big deal? Try being a homeless drug addict. Having a shower is a big deal. It really is. You exercising at all—that is amazing. The fact that you managed to do whatever was required to put food on the table for one more day, and that you tolerated this nightmare of a world we live in for another few hours—you got through it and didn’t top yourself. This is actually an achievement. You’re actually well on top of things. Going to the gym and doing ten pull-ups is just icing on the cake. The fact that you’ve gotten yourself to a place where you could even go to a gym is amazing. Have you forgotten that you’re already doing really well? There’s no pressure required here. You’re on top of things. To dive deeper into this topic, check out the original video here:

Outgrowing Friendships: The Hidden Journey of Personal Growth Have you ever wondered why, as you grow and change, your friendships sometimes seem to fall by the wayside? It’s a question I hear often: Has anyone else experienced a major loss of contact with old friends and networks after addressing and stopping people-pleasing behavior? The short answer is yes, and it’s a difficult, painful process many of my one-to-one clients go through. Most of my clients come to me as people pleasers. They start working on their confidence, and one of the first behaviors we tackle is their tendency to please others at the expense of themselves. As they wind back their people-pleasing, the truth about their social circles begins to reveal itself. The Connection Between Psychological Health and Social Circles Here’s an opinion I hold strongly: we don’t form connections with people healthier than us. Instead, we find our match. This doesn’t mean our friends mirror us exactly, but they match our level of psychological health. This is why victims often find abusers, why avoidance meets anxiety, and why people pleasers attract users. We are drawn to those who reflect our current mental state. As we grow and improve, our perceptions of those around us change. If they’re not growing too, it creates friction. This doesn’t mean everyone in our lives needs to be perfect—no one is—but they need to be facing in the same direction, working on themselves, or at least supportive of your growth. The Reality of Outgrowing Relationships In my journey, I realized that many of the people I called friends weren’t deeply connected to me. They were fun, but not the kind who would rescue me in a crisis. As I changed, many of these friendships faded away. It wasn’t because they were bad people. We simply no longer matched. For example, many of my former friends were heavy drinkers and party-goers. As I evolved, I no longer wanted to engage in those activities. I wanted deeper conversations and meaningful connections. So, I sought out new friendships through activities like social dancing and personal development groups. I found people who shared my interests and supported my growth.

Hey everyone, I'm still sick so I've moved the AMA to the end of the week Cheers

New idea I've been developing with the support of my clients. "There are 3 categories under which every potential action you can take can be listed. NEED: your survival depends on this, or it is so incredibly important that you could not live with yourself if you did not do it. WANT: you preferred behaviour. This doesn't mean you "feel like" doing it, moreso that you would be proud of yourself for doing it, it aligns with your core values, it helps you achieve goals that matter to you, and in the future you will be grateful you did it. SHOULD: tasks you feel obliged, pressured or guilty about, even though you neither need to do them or want to do them. These are the actions that society, parents and media have programmed into you as things you should do - to be "successful", to be a "good person", and so on. Your self-confidence dies whenever you do a SHOULD task. Or more accurately: whenever you do something from a SHOULD motivation." More here: https://theinspirationallifestyle.com/need-vs-want-vs-should-how-to-make-better-decisions/