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Copywriting Launchpad

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2 contributions to Copywriting Launchpad
Review my copy if you want
This is a practice email I've written for man matters hair gummies Subject Line 1: Throw your hat and show your head with confidence. Subject Line 2: No need to hide baldness under a cap! Body: Hi *|FNAME|*, Do you wear a cap to hide your baldness? If yes, then you need to fix your hair rather than hiding your beautiful head. You may have tried different types of solutions and doesn’t see any result and you’re now tired of trying… And you may be right but hiding the problem doesn’t solve it. You need to take action rather than ignoring it… And we’re here to help you take right steps. So, the next time you step out, you can do it without a cap. In most of cases, hair fall is linked to nutrient deficiencies. Nutrients like Zinc, B12, Iron, vitamin D etc… play an important role. Supporting these gaps can help improve hair health over time. And to support this, we created an easy, chewable solution… Yes, you heard it right a chewable Hair gummy. A hair gummy made with essential nutrients like iron, vitamin d, zinc, B12. It is 100% pure vegan, suitable for both vegetarians and vegans. Just one gummy a day is recommended. For best results, use it consistently for 4-6 months. Note: if you’re hair loss is genetic, this product alone may not be enough and should be used alongside proper treatment. However, even in genetics hair loss, it can help support your routine alongside proper treatment. But is it safe? “According to research published in the Journal of Clinical and Aesthetic Dermatology, then ingredients in gummies are clinically proven to increase hair density by over 10% in 6 months.” We’re trusted by 1,500+ customer with 5star reviews on Amazon. So, don’t wait for things to get worse and start supporting your hair today. Click the link below: [Link Here] Reply to this email for any questions. To your success, Man matter P.S. Give it at least 4-6 months and experience the difference yourself.
1 like • 17d
Here are 5 quick critiques (just my opinion) 1) The Subject Lines -Subject Line 1 is very awkward. "Show your head with confidence" could be phrased better -Subject Line two doesn't instil excitement, curiosity or emotion, its bland and flat -Both subject lines establish an angle of embracing baldness not "fixing hair" or better yet, "the solution to balding" 2) Opening - Balding, is a common insecurity, which is why your target audience (as assumed will be wearing a hat). With this in mind, its clear your audience may be extremely self conscious and low on confidence. "Do you wear a cap to hide your baldness?" as your opening line sounds like an attack or an effort to expose their insecurity. This will be a turn off to the reader as they will now be very defensive 3)Line 2 -In line 2 you state "you need to fix your hair" which is a very vague. Fixing your hair could mean: -Brushing one's hair -Combing one's hair -Styling one's hair As a result of this, line 2 creates confusion which reduces the efficiency of the copy as high performing copy all have the characteristic of extreme clarity 4)Line 3 -"You may have tried different types of solutions and doesn’t see any result and you’re now tired of trying… " Doesn't flow smoothly and is grammatically incorrect (and doesn't see any result") -"You may have tried different types of solutions" (your line 3) compared to "you may have tried many products promising to stop balding but quickly realized they all sold a dream" (suggestion) 5)Line 8 -In most of cases, hair fall is linked to nutrient deficiencies. "In most of cases" -Grammar error "Hair fall"- Awkward/Vague phrasing < "Hair loss" - Clear and Not awkward (These are just 5 quick critiques, let me know what you think and if your open for me that will be fine with me) (Also these critiques are just my opinion so don't feel beat down by them, just trying to help)
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2 likes • 23d
Speaking it into existence that everyone within this group regardless of joining relatively new, 2026 will be an amazing year for us within the journey of copywriting!
2 likes • 18d
Happy New Years Everyone, We all will have an amazing year Looking back and thanking ourselves for starting our journey of copywriting
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Fray Ellis
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@fray-ellis-5853

Active 5d ago
Joined Dec 25, 2025
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