When Resistance Is Actually the Work: A Breakthrough Moment in Deep Mindset Coaching
Fellow coaches, I wanted to share a powerful experience I just had with my beta test client that reminded me of something we all encounter but sometimes forget: client resistance often contains the very issues we're trying to address. The Situation My client—a complex trauma and cancer survivor who has "crashed and burned" with previous therapies—expressed hesitation about listening to her transformational recording after an intense sessions focusing on discovering the root cause of her ‘folding to external circumstances and pressure from needy, manipulative people in her life’ and building her resilience and inner authority (in the form of putting her needs ahead of others instead of putting herself last). She made assumptions that listening to the customized follow-up recording would be as uncomfortable as going through the regression scenes in live therapy, despite my explicit explanations, therefore being somewhat reluctant to listen to the 9 min recording. This came to me through her husband (also a client) who was worried about her locking in the positive results she was already experiencing. Naturally, I became worried she would continue being reluctant to the best part of the program since the recording is a downhill sprint and passive experience with relaxing and replenishing benefits. But through reflection and conversation, I realized something profound was happening. The Breakthrough The very issues we were addressing in the Resilience session—fear of failure, self-criticism, judgment, and prioritizing external validation over well-being—were manifesting in how she approached the therapy itself! Her hesitation wasn't resistance; it was her patterns playing out in real-time. A literal last gasp for the old conditioning. The Approach That Worked I reframed the recordings as a "brain vacation" and normalized that both her conscious and subconscious mind might have "opinions or feelings about the process as it absorbs." I encouraged journaling and open communication about concerns, creating a collaborative framework that honored her agency while providing support.