You don't hate the tiger for it's stripes or the wolf for it's teeth. You just have to accept they have them and see it as a feature not a bug. Nothing in life is safe, but you're better off knowing the risks and seeing what to look out for and then moving forward. Women are a lot of fun, but they do require an understanding. Shooting guns is a lot of fun, but if you dont know how to be safe with them you can get in trouble with them too.

Dating web site. we've been together that long

A real friend tells you when you're fucking up, in private. They actually care about you more than themselves. They will risk their relationship with you if it can help you. That's a rare friend. They also will be there when the shit hits the fan and have your back even when you're wrong in public.

I think RIch Cooper is mostly right here... you're her girlfriend (she's not fucking you) or her boyfriend (she is fucking you). I say mostly because she's not fucking you I tend to say she doesn't want to fuck you. Also, this is almost always said in the way that it's a bad thing to be her girl friend. I don't necessarily agree with that. If she's fun to hang out with, she introduces you to other girls, more like a sister vibe that works for me. The rules are you aren't her therapist or wallet. She's hanging out with you because she likes you, honestly I think in most cases she actually does want to get with you in these cases but something is stopping it. It could be her being insecure with the attention you are getting, over familiarity, reputation management or any other number of things but at the end of the day if she's talking you up to other women and she's not a drain on you it's an asset. I wouldn't say the same boundaries with other guys because she is a girl at the end of the day they will behave differently. But the boundaries have to be at the same level, they're just different. Again don't expect a tiger to lose it's stripes, a wolf to lose it's teeth or a woman to be a man.

You can't force someone to be your friend. They like you or they don't. Don't try to befriend them but don't not try to be friends with women. Just like anyone else.

Momentum is key, but I would also include discipline and perseverance are equally or more important. Momentum is easy to build and keep when things are going well, however as Frank Sinatra says "flying high in April, shot down in May". And that's where the grit comes in.