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I run a community for ADHD and I have ADHD - Churn hurts my feelings. Something people do not talk about enough is how intense the first member churn can feel when you have ADHD. When someone leaves, the ADHD brain does not read it as neutral data. It reads it as rejection. Even when you logically know people leave communities for a hundred reasons, RSD can turn that moment into an emotional sting. Did I do something wrong? Did I miss something? Was I not helpful enough? That first churn can land hard. Here is the interesting part though. With time, exposure, and regulation, that sting changes. After more churn happens, your nervous system learns something important. This is not danger. This is not personal. This is normal. As the emotional charge softens, the logical brain is finally able to step in and say, "People come and go. Needs change. Timing matters. Churn is part of every healthy community." That does not mean you stop caring. It means your system no longer treats churn like a threat. This is one of those quiet ADHD growth moments. Not because the feeling disappears instantly, but because you learn how to regulate through it and not let it hijack your sense of safety or competence. Curious question for you: Have you noticed moments where RSD felt intense at first, but softened over time once your nervous system learned it was safe? These are the skills that do not show up on a checklist, but matter just as much.

Recently in my own community I had a brainwave and decided to DM each of my community members, here’s what I wrote: Hey there 👋 I just wanted to do a quick check-in and say thanks for being part of HomeSafe Academy. I’m genuinely curious — are you enjoying the community so far, and are you finding value in what’s being shared? Even a short “yes / no / a bit” reply helps more than you might think. I’m also always open to shaping this space around what you actually need. Are there any questions, concerns, or topics you’d like me to cover in General Discussion or other areas of the community? Home safety, home security, online safety, real-world scenarios, checklists, guides — nothing’s off the table. If you don’t feel like writing much, even a single idea or question is perfect. This community is a slow, steady build, and your input really does help guide where it goes. Appreciate you being here, Tim ThinkSafe · ActSafe · HomeSafe Would love to get some feedback on how you connect with your community members?

Interesting little contraption. Hopefully it helps me keep track of where my time is going. I'll report back. Right now it's a little overwhelming.

What are you actually working on today? • the thing you planned • the thing you avoided • or the thing that suddenly felt urgent for no reason 😅 AND what would make doing that 10% easier?