Ooo my word, thankyoo thankyoo thankyoo. For my forever contradictory messy, monkeymind and focused brain, what an amazing journey with you all. For the first time in my life feel deeply connected with a safe group of like minds and understood. Phrases that really stuck out in my report... Your pattern of absorbing external impatient energy, escalating into meltdowns and Tourette's-like swearing, then spiraling into shame and self-blame - that isn't a character flaw. It's an emotional regulation challenge with a specific mechanism. Somewhere along the way, you built a survival system with four walls. People pleaser on one side - to manage your authoritarian mother. Peacemaker on another - because conflict felt dangerous. Perfectionist on the third - because if you couldn't be clever, at least you could be flawless. And rebel on the fourth - the part of you that refused to be completely erased. You have been the calm in everyone else's storm while no one noticed you were drowning. Maybe this resonates with others too? Now....to REBUILD....big love to all....have a great weekend xxx