Your inbox is screaming, your feeds are foaming, and somewhere a marketer just turned a 97 $ mini-thing into a "Black Friday Empire Bundle" for 4.997 $ with a countdown timer and a fake limit of eleven seats. Welcome to capitalism on pre-workout. In "Dirty Little Skool Secrets" we do Black Friday a bit differently. No sacred offers, no urgency theater, just a simple reality check: You are invited to notice: - how fast your paypal account gets fried the moment someone mixes words like "freedom", "lifetime access" and "today only" - how many times you bought the same promise with a slightly different color and a new guru face - how much pressure you feel to also discount something even if you already feel discounted as a human being If you want, use the comments as your Black Friday confession booth: 1. The dumbest thing you almost bought in the last 72 hours (me: a book I don´t need) 2. The one thing you did buy and the story you told yourself to justify it (me: ahh, doesn´t matter) 3. The tiny boring action in your real life that would probably help you more than any sale today (me: build a SERIOUS skool community) Welcome to "Dirty Little Skool Secrets", where the only thing on sale is the illusion that this week will finally fix everything.

👉 If the words "funnel", "nurture", "conversion" and "cart close" make your left eye twitch, congratulations, you are already on the waiting list for this clinic. 🥳🎉🍾🎊 "Funnel Fatigue Recovery Center" is the wing of this community where we admit the real addicts. The ones who: - changed button colors at three in the morning and called it strategy - spent whole weekends dragging arrows in mapping tools like a digital hamster - created fourteen tags for people who still never bought Inside this classroom we treat a very specific condition: 👉🧠 Your nervous system is cooked 👉🧠 Your Notion is beautiful 👉🧠 Your bank account looks like a side quest We will sit you down on a plastic chair, take away your color palette and gently show you how much of your so called "business" was actually low grade panic arranged as customer journey. Expect: 🔥 diagrams that deserve prison 🔥 launch plans that smell like desperation 🔥 confessions about the funnel that was supposed to save everything and did not even pay for coffee If you read this and feel personally attacked, that is your intake form. Enroll in "Funnel Fatigue Recovery Center" and bring your ugliest flow chart.

👉 Read this once, then slowly break every single line like a pro 🧐🔥🧨 Rule 1. Post real despair, polished however you likeShow your nicest brand voice 💄 while bleeding quietly underneath 🩸✨If your post could live on LinkedIn without anyone flinching, it does not belong here 😴🚫 Rule 2. No inspirational quotes unless they hurtIf your quote belongs on a coworking mug, delete it ☕🗑️If it makes you a bit nauseous to admit you still believe it, post it and tell us what it cost you 🤮💳⏳ Rule 3. Always say what you sellCoaching, course, community, dopamine, validation, exit fantasy, name the product 🎯💰If you are here to funnel people into your other thing, just say it and let us enjoy the honesty 🧲😇😈 Rule 4. Share numbers that make you cringe, not just the pretty onesRevenue, debt, churn, views, refund rate, therapy bill, drop them all 📉📊🧾Screenshots welcome, cropping the painful parts counts as special effects and will be mocked 😂🎬🤡 Rule 5. Guru worship is allowed, but only as autopsyYou can praise your hero while listing the price in the same breath ⛪💸🩻Time, money, self respect, friendships, nervous system, stack the entire sacrifice on the table 🕯️🥩⚰️ Rule 6. No safe hope marketingDo not tease that the secret is coming in the next module, video or launch 🚫🧠🎁There is no next module here, if you feel the urge to build one, go outside and watch an actual bird instead of your dashboard 🐦🌳📺 Rule 7. If you feel attacked, you are in the right placeThis room is a mirror maze, not a spa 🪞🎢The moment you start writing a heroic brand story, stop, breathe and add the part you wanted to hide 😶‍🌫️🫁🩹That tiny ugly add on is the only currency that counts here 💣💔💳

Every serious Skool space has a nice intro thread. This one does not. 😂 🫣 Comment below and answer as many of these as you dare: 1. Who are you and what niche are you currently pretending to own 2. How many ring lights would you take with you if you had to sleep in a bunker for one year 3. What did you really hope online business would fix in your life, no branding, just the raw thing 4. How often has your neighbor across the street had to watch you sobbing into your pillow after checking your stats 5. Name one course or mastermind you bought that you would never admit on a first date Welcome. The more wrong it feels to answer, the more you belong here.