How to recover for depression from someone who had experienced it for four years

For anyone who is dealing with depression,negative thoughts ,a bad life,or anxiety.

Hello ,I am April,I am a 14 years old junior high school student from Taiwan

I was a negative person before,I experienced major depression for 4 years.

So I understand how difficult it feels to live,to happy,to feel normal,to feel being cared about by others when we don’t feel good about ourselves,our life,our looking,grades,relationships,friendships.

I recovered it two months ago.

Here are some things I did that helped me to recover from it.

1.DEPRESSION DOESNT MEAN WE ARE WEAK OR WITH NO RESILIENCE

We often experience depression or negative thoughts due to many reasons.

Maybe it’s because people are mean and cruel sometimes.

Maybe we aren’t being treated well by others,whether it’s our”friends”,family,co workers or classmates.

Maybe we had traumas from our family,even if they love us,or did it without intention or notice.

Maybe it’s because we have STANDARDS and GOALs ,EXPECTATIONS for ourselves,

so we don’t feel good enough to be who we are,to live the life we don’t feel good enough.

But those things that happened to us aren’t our faults. Yeah,It happened,it happened to us,but that doesn’t mean all these things that happened to us are our faults.

Maybe we were not a good person,we made mistakes,but that’s not the reason for people to be rude to us, or disrespectful to us.

Please remember this.

2.WRITE DOWN THOSE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS ON A PAPER

We might feel ashamed or stupid at first.

Sometimes we know what we are feared of,what we are anxious of,and we know what we need to improve ,but we are feared to face it.

I think it’s a very good way to clear our thoughts and force ourselves to face the negative thoughts and what we are anxious about,afraid of.

When we suppress it in our mind,we often exaggerate it .Writing it down,often can show us those thoughts and fear are often only exists in our mind.

A lot of times when I wrote those things down,my first reaction is”That’s stupid.Why would I even bother myself with such a small matter.””Did I think myself as such an awful person the whole day,feed my mind with this negative awful words and critics to myself?”

And most of the time,the answer is that our biggest enemy are our mind which throws such negative words.

3.DISTARCT OUR MIND FROM NEGATIVE THOUGHTS WITH BEAUTIFUL THINGS.

It can be a hobby,an interest,making new friends,do some ritual.

If you don’t have one,find one ,MAKE one.

Don’t have a hobby ?

Try to see the hobby list on Pinterest ,IG or TikTok.

Even if you feel interest with none of those at the first sight ,TRY IT.

Try every of it,until you find one.

Or ask yourself what aspect of hobbies I might interested in,look for the potential and try it.

These hobbies will eventually become a topic for we to chat with people or a label of ourselves to let people get to know us more.

It can be a major that might help our future career or social life.

Something that might help you to make friends with same interests,minds.

4.ROMANTIZE YOUR LIFE!

read books,listen to music,buy flowers to yourself,cook a special meal for yourself,buy gifts for yourself….etc,

It’s the mindset that

WE CAN BE HAPPY ON OUR OWN.

And FINDING MEANINGS OR SOME BELIEFS,REASONS TO WAKE IN THE MORNING.

Something we are so passionate about,excited about to live in this world regardless any reasons or anything happens.

People will notice the difference.

SELF LOVE COMES AFTER SELF RESPECT.

Once you start to love yourself,people will feel the glow ,the aura you made them feel.

5.If YOU CANT FIND FRIENDS IN YOUR SURROUNDINGS OR ENVIRONMENT,FIND IT ONLINE.

I was once with NO FRIENDS,cause I was excluded in my class,and I don’t have same interests with my surroundings.I can’t find anyone to chat with.

So I walked out of my comfort zone,made friends online from different countries.

This is when the hobbies and interests we are passionate about works.

I made a lot of friends online because I opened the topics about hobbies and singers I like.

I even found someone who is my bestie now,and a lot of friends we chat frequently.

NOT EVERYONE WILL SUITS YOU!

PEOPLE MIGHT GHOST YOU,MIGHT NOT HAVE INTEREST IN YOU!

AND IT IS OKAY.

TRY TO TALK TO MORE PEOPLE,AND YOU WILL FIND ONE EVENTUALLY.

Once I start making friends online,I got the confident to connect with my surroundings,and I learned more social skills which made me more friends,even they are not in my surroundings,but it will definitely help with how we communicate and social with others,

It helped me a lot.

6. FORCE YOURSELF TO THINK POSITIVELY AS MUCH AS YOU CAN.

Force? Yes.

I understand that it seems hard and impossible to think negative in such an situation.

It feels like being someone who we aren’t,

Betraying someone who we were AT First.

But,you will feel the huge difference after you started even just a week .

It takes time,cause that was the path we used to go.

But

WE CANT EXPECT A NEW VIEW,BY WALKING THE SAME PATH AGAIN AND AGAIN.

THE LAST AND THE MOST IMPORTANT in my opinion

7.WE ARE THE ONLY PERSON WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR NEGATIVE THOUGHTS!

NO ONE ELSE.

NOT YOUR FRIENDS.NOT YOUR FAMILY.

WE ARE THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN CHANGE IT.

Find a therapist is a guide,not the solution.

Yes,we can talk about it to our friends,family,people who we trust

BUT ONCE YOU DECIDE TO TALK ABOUT IT,YOU HAVE TO BE WILLING TO TAKE THE RISK OF LOSING THEM.

Yes,it sounds harsh.I am not saying it’s bad to talk it with people we trust,in fact it helped me recover it a lot.

And people might say”No way ,she/he is going to leave me”’She/he is my Best Friend”.

NO MATTER HOW MUCH A PERSON LOVES YOU,

THEY DONT HAVE THE RESPONSIBILITY TO LISTEN TO YOUR TRAUMA DUMPING.

THEY DONT HAVE TO KNOW ALL YOUR NEGATIVE THOUGHTS AND MENTAL PROBLEMS.

Maybe you need them,but they might not going always be there.

We can’t expect people to understand us when they can’t see what we saw,what we experience.

We can’t expect people to do the reaction we want,we imagine to comfort us.

Yes,they loveus,but they might get overwhelmed too.

It’s a supplement,not the solution.

THE ONLY KEY TO CHANGE IS OURSELVES.

All of them are just the guidelines ,

IT TAKES TIME TO RECOVER. IT might relapse.Because we are USED TO this emotion and the negative reaction,so it’s normal if it relapse.

Thank you for reading it,it’s just things I have experienced,and the mistakes I made that I want share it to help you not to repeat.It’s only from my perspective,so I might be wrong.

And it might not suits everyone.Everyone has their own way to relieve stress,these are just ways that suits me,so keep find new ways that suits you most.

I believe in you ,and I wish everything wonderful happens to you.

Wish you have a happy new year.

Remember THERE ARE STILL A LOT OF KIND PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD.

And You haven’t know how great your life can be in the future.

Thank you for reading it. Sincerely,April.

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