Rough Week For Me · The Expanse

8d (edited) • Community

Rough Week For Me

Hey Fellas, I've been in a rut for a week or so now and wanted to come on and post about it.

I can tell that just by typing this there is value to be able to show up and say that I'm struggling. It would be much easier for me to just try and figure it out and act like I never lost a step, but the truth is I have and I don't want to hide from it.

This past week I had the good fortune of staying in a friend's cabin in the hills of Texas, a beautiful dream space. I wasn't able to enjoy it even a fraction because my body, mind, and emotions had become overwhelmed with stress and fear and my body backlogged with unprocessed emotions. While I was getting the bare minimum done, I found myself largely ineffective and frozen in avoidance. I would try and break away to meditate or go for a walk or enjoy the weather, but I've never felt more ineffective in my life in terms of having authority over myself and my actions. I suppose it could be considered a form of dissociation.

I have no requests of support from anyone. More than anything, this post is an opportunity to allow myself to be seen in this point or place of weakness and cowardice.

P.S. I have run my situation through ManOS and I'm currently developing a strategy and taking action on it.

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