Condensing the Action · The Writer's Forge

Condensing the Action

I've now read 3 other Forge members' scripts that i believe are really good at just getting to the point in their Action. I know there's more of you out here.

My ask? How would you economize the following Action segment?

--------------------------

She turns and sprints back towards the office. Jacob continues walking, his drink in hand, almost smiling as he walks past the now empty therapy rooms. At the elevator, he looks down an adjoining darkened hallway. The entrance is blocked by a cable attached to two stanchions.

Jacob looks around then stealthily slips over the cable into the hallway. He’s the only person on the floor.

It’s dark other than light coming from a frosted window on a door near the end. He slowly moves towards it. As he gets closer, the sound of faint voices is heard. Screaming voices.

2 comments