Working Through Confusion · The Lighthouse Project

Working Through Confusion

Recently I’ve hit a good amount of resistance when setting aside time to do the Work. I joined our calls and brought my questions and thoughts and current state to the group for guidance, and without fail these fine men helped me find out what I needed. We each can see these things from a different perspective, and that’s why I know I’m here, to offer my perspective and knowledge to those in need. *And that’s why it’s important to join the calls when you can!* =D

My inner dialogue was loud… it was recommended to just listen to it for a few minutes, what’s being said, give it attention. A few minutes go by “okay Nick, this is a safe space, you are never going to be punished for your emotions, even if you’re mad at me, your mom, your dad, anyone.” My intentions have been to let my inner child hear this and feel it.

So what comes out? Something I thought I handled. I was confused to see the memory come forward, filled with confusion. “I don’t get it! But I’m fucking scared.” As an adult NOW I can look at that moment, my mother being completely wasted after drinking a bottle of rum and driving me and my sister around at the age of (13?)

I can look at that memory as an adult “that’s a sickness, she’s always struggled with this, she’s only a human” and I can defend her. BUT when I was a child I could not comprehend the fear, confusion, or guilt of it. So thank you to the guys that were available and listened and spoke up.

*The release was so strong I was left shaking for about 10 minutes afterwards.

0 comments