28d • Finding the Next Step
Grief tips
There's a lot of grief going around.
For my love ones.
For the world.
Wanted to post some helpful tips. If you have any please feel free to add yours.
My Grief Tips
Grief is not a "process" with a finish line or time limit. It’s often a mess, exhausting, and non-linear. Whether you are going through it yourself or supporting others, here are some ways to manage the weight.
1. Radical Self-Compassion
When you’re grieving, your brain is functioning differently. It’s common to experience
"grief brain" forgetfulness, brain fog, and a total lack of focus is a real thing.
* Lower the bar: If all you did today was hydrate and breathe, accept that.
* Release the "Shoulds" The idea that you should be over it by now or should be acting a certain way.
- Allow for the physical toll: Grief is physically taxing. It often shows as muscle aches, exhaustion, or a weakened immune system. Try to sleep when you can.
2. Coping Strategies
Sometimes you need "survival mode" tactics to get through the first few months.
* The 15-Minute Rule: If a task (like cleaning or answering emails) feels impossible, set a timer for 15 minutes. When it beeps, give yourself permission to stop.
* Externalize the pain: Grief needs release. Journaling, art, or even physical movement (like a long walk) helps move the energy out of your body.
* Designate a "Safe Person": Find one person you don't have to "perform" for, someone you can sit with in silence or sob in front of without feeling the need to apologize.
3. Supporting Others
If you're watching a friend grieve, avoid "Let me know if you need anything."
It puts the burden on the person who has the least energy.
* The "Low-Stakes" Check-in: Send a text that says, "I'm thinking of you. No need to reply." This removes the social obligation to perform.
* Specific Offers: Instead of asking what they need, offer specific actions:
* "I’m going to the grocery store, what can I drop off for you?"
* "I’m free Tuesday to come over and mow the lawn and pick up your laundry"
* Keep showing up: Most people disappear after the funeral. The second and third months are often the loneliest.
4. Understanding the "Waves"
A helpful way to look at grief is the tide analogy:
Your grief is like the ocean. Sometimes it just touches your toes. Other times the waves rush in and it’s unexpectedly all around you.
A Gentle Reminder:
There is no "correct" way to do this. If you find that the weight is becoming too heavy to carry alone, or if you're feeling hopeless, reaching out to a grief counselor or a support group can provide a specialized kind of relief that friends and family sometimes can't
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Grief tips
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