Are you truly awake or just accepting that you are without knowing that you are, and if you are awake, how do you know you are awake and what have you woken up from?

It’s been few days where instead of watching and reading spiritual/manisfestation content, I’m just seating down and watch myself being in silence, to get closer to my true self/God by lowering down my brain activity/frequency. I m surprised by the amount of useless thinking that comes up in my mind, and the constant activity that is going on there. I spot myself missing checking the phone or doing something I should be doing but after a while I notice everything comes down and becomes normal meaning that this form of silence becomes accepted by the monkey mind. I m having a peaceful effect and more rested mind from this simple meditation the only thing I feel is a sense of loneliness afterwards that I never felt before. Wanted to share to see what you think and if you also feel like me now that I don’t think there is anything better then just being in silence watching the self/God how he creates and at the same time makes everything disappear.