While watching this video by rey "God did not put you here to be good" I realised how much my life decisions are effected by people around me, just keep them happy, satisfied and pleased. This morning I skipped my meditation and just sit in silence, very early in the morning, I was just looking around and feeling the peace. From my last post i learned a lot, I'm carrying too much pressure, fear, guilt, expectations and responsibilities. I just surrender and give them all to god 😊🙌🏼 i bring back my power. Nobody can scare me, not even my parents, society, or their rule and culture. Recently from last few months I was in rush to start content creation, to connect with people, to shoot my life to present myself as a niche. I was handling tons of syallabus from college, too much pressure for entrence exams. Not anymore, today I realised this year is going to end soon, i need to create difference now. Without any expectations and responsibilities I'm giving myself permission to rest, to choose what I feel intrested in, to love, to talk with myself. In my family I'm the only person who is interested in spirituality, I'm different form them, I have some goods and bads, but in all these... instead of connected to god, when did I start beating myself to fit in the perfect mold of spiritual and peaceful girl?? That video really helped me. And now I'm not beating myself anymore. Today I cried a lot. I'm just sitting around here and there and thinking. It's time to choose who really I am and stop with this ego and beliefs drama. I'll update you all with my new journey in next post 😊🤗 And thanks rey, your video opened my eyes it's just me and God. Nothing else. God bless you all ❤️‍🩹 Ruru ;)

The real way to get out of your inside blame game and self sabotage is embracing your darkness and knowing that this is how I am. But lets say, you are addicted to heroin, i dont think so its okay to embrace that and be comfortable with it and say that this is how i am. Sounds somewhat like the person is in denial. I want to understand this better, and this is one thing that is getting me confused.

Have you noticed that cannabis brings our mental problems to the surface? It may be that it allows us to take a closer look at them. Some say it's paranoia and that the substance exaggerates our problems. But these are our paranoias and problems, so it's worth looking at them. Personally, From my experiance it is a substance that introduces chaos, and the challenge is to embrace that chaos. But it brings also warmth and light. How do you think? Is it true that when a person has high vibrations, cannabis gives them a positive impression, and when they are having a bad day, the effect can be more of a bad trip? Some say it relaxes them, and some can't stand cannabis because it transports them to a little hell? How is it for you?