Wat is ego? How do i know wat i am doing is bcoz of ego or not?

So for a lil context , i might be a lot stupid and ask such stupid question forgive me ,so im 20 yrs old and i came to know about spirituality and then got a lot involved thru a guy i used to date ,thay went really horrible for me ,evrytime as i used to save my relationship when it was falling apart he would constantly say its just your ego , u do not want this, but clearly since long the one thing i craved for and wished to hve was a loving genuine partner and have a small family with them, but is that my ego? Shld i not crave for it?is it wrong? I mean most of the spirituality guru s who i used to follow were telling evrything is about ego and ull gain ntg from it .. which i kinda agree.. but can anyone explain me. Is wishing for a spouse really is a bad thing? And since im young i thought this new year will bring me a lot of productive side of me since last year drained me in evry way possible this new year i would work physically, mentally,spiritually and also start a heavy grind for my career ,i mean since breakup i hve been reaching very good heights in my career, is this all ego too?

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