Messiaher: seX is a trap? Questioner: How so? Messiaher: Words are not just words. Words are frequency and the frequency from words create and manifests things into our reality. Things that work for us and also things that work against us. That’s why they say, choose your words very carefully. The word seX is actually se(e) X and X is the creator (god) of the Game Play (matriX) aka GRAY (grey) Reptilian species. X is the name of the species. El0n Must introduce X to society and that is why twitter changed its name to X. X = Reptilians Conclusion: seX is se(e) X and when you choose to use seX in your story you grant X permission to extract your see X ual energy, which is the most potent of all energies in the Game Play. They highly promote seX and porn in the Game Play for this very reason. You can use words such as intercourse, intimacy or sensuality in replace of seX.

I attach to people and things. I become emotionally invested, have fears about being without them and not feeling whole. I am grieving a relationship. We still live together right now which is needed for my financial safety. We lived together as girlfriend and boyfriend for about a year. I keep walking in on him watching porn and he has been speaking to me very condescending and in degrading ways. He used to do this when we were together too. I have really had a lot of love for him even when I’ve had to place really strong boundaries or when I fought in the relationship to express to him how the way he was treating me was hurting me. He just totally disconnects, is passive aggressive and very disruptive, stomping, making noise, ignoring and making co-habituating difficult. I am looking for some perspective to help me let go but also help me cultivate compassion for him and a broader understanding. Something that can really open my heart to just let him be and be truly warm towards myself and him right now. I feel deeply that perspective could help me find peace.

Well anything I’ve said here did not have to be said in that way. I don’t even remember exactly, but if I am in that much pain, and not really my usual self, it’s not likely to come out so well and I could become insulting and upset people. So although I have valid arguments here, there are better ways to speak than that. It was all impulsive and written extremely fast again with my thumbs trying to keep up with my mind, so I’m sorry about that. You would not ever understand anyway. Maybe if I wrote a dozen novels you could potentially, at least have the potential to understand, if experienced in such things, or have the capacity to imagine I suppose. It’s a unique type of syndrome of abuses that become hidden for a lifetime all piled on top of each other. I am an anomaly to have survived. I know, what does my story matter anyway. It never does. I will only post and ghost at this point anyway. But people should be able to understand this simple concept. Say if other people shot you in the back and can’t walk anymore and then your stuck with caregivers that betray their duty and choose to harm you more while you have to rely on them and don’t have anything or anyone else at that point, because of the injury, but then there’s no one advocating for you and you’re just all alone and no one believes anything you say, because the people in control can pretend very well, so no one questions them. Or maybe they even believe what they’re doing is right. At the same time, they confuse you and make you think they care, but you are not understanding because how can they do this to you. Turns out it was the caregivers who shot you in the back in the first place. But this is only the very beginning. And it’s not really the beginning either when you look at the totality. It’s too complicated for people. Too much time, too many things taking place. Too much emotion tied to every memory. And a mind that never forgets. But it’s not the past that is the present. It’s what’s still wrong in the present that restricts from being whole. That can be fixed and I know how. But I’ve not been allowed.

Love to all...shine your light!

My current focus on my spiritual journey is becoming free of my lustful habits and addictions. It has proven to be hard to undo over a decade of sexual degeneracy in my mind. Who would have thought. I know I am making progress because usually when I try to quit it's like a pendulum where eventually I swing right back into the habit, and justify the habit as I could not handle both being addicted and being full of shame by knowing how wrong my actions were. But recently I have moved into a new space, free of shame and guilt, and full of awareness more and more. Where I am still sinning but instead of tearing myself down I am just watching how my actions are affecting my spirit. And I can feel myself becoming more and more convicted that this habit/addiction does not serve me. Every time I enter back into the habit I am one step closer to becoming free. Wondering what the others in the group have to say about their own journey. This has become the single most important part of my life!