Relationship/Dating Advice: Hoe Math · Society of Ordinary Gentlemen

Oct 25 (edited) • Mental/Physical Well Being 🥊

Relationship/Dating Advice: Hoe Math

I'm surprised we don't have a "dating" category like we did in the last S/OG, so I'm going with "Mental/Physical Well-Being".

Anyway, I recently discovered the YouTube Channel "Hoe Math".

I know, the name is a bit inappropriate. I don't believe in calling ladies "hoes" (with very rare exception, and even then, it's usually when in the confidence of other men when venting), even if they can act that way.

However, beyond the word, the channel makes a lot of great logical points about how dating dynamics work, recognizing one's value, recognizing the how and why behind modern disturbing dating trends, and provides several great tools to determine if any relationship has an equal amount of give and take, referred to as "The Table".

As a great sample/intro video, I've added that below (first video). It's about the host reacting to a video where a "lady" with a septum piercing (big red flag off the bat) is trying to make a weak argument that sleeping with 100 men is no different than sleeping with one man 100 times. Yes, she seriously tries to argue that.

What does Hoe Math do? Actually breaks it down in a very logical and reasonable way, with some amusing illustrations. I especially felt our younger members could greatly benefit from this, as the host also describes several of the obstacles they'll likely encounter in the modern dating scene, and pitfalls best avoided.

The next video is called "The Table", and further breaks down that concept of give-and-take in relationships.

Video #3 is another example of a "lady" who uses the "I am the table" argument to exploit services from men, and in return maybe giving them a little attention. When you finish this video, I guarantee you're probably going to vomit in several ways (mentally, emotionally, maybe even physically), reevaluate where you stand with the women in your life, and hopefully make some drastic changes.

Spoiler alert: I see this behavior consistently here in California. It's mind boggling how many times what starts as a nice exchange between myself and a prospective lady who shows several signs of strong interest, quickly turns into my being disposable and ghosted as soon as I establish a boundary and decline to do something for them when they either stop stepping up reciprocation, or start withholding base level reciprocation (pulling back the attention they give regardless of my consistent effort). I've never before lived in such a place where it's one-way-benefit transactional as here. Sure, there was always a "transaction" process in some form, but it used to be a little more equal.

In the end, though the videos explain from a male perspective, the advice goes both ways. Women can also use these tools to judge if they have equal give and take, or if the man they thought was everything is actually just a scumbag gigolo.

EDIT: Added a fourth video. Nearly 50 mins, but more thoroughly explains what women actually want in a man versus what they say they want. No, they don't want jerks, but they want the assertiveness and protection many "jerk types" possess. They DO want "nice", but only delivered in a certain way that earns respect, rather than those who treat it as transactional (especially when the man is begging without healthy boundaries for himself).

YOUR TURN

As always, I'd like your feedback.

How did you feel after watching the videos?
Did you suddenly connect dots in a current or past relationship?
Did you realize maybe your current relationship/love interest is/isn't worth it?
Did you realize maybe you weren't the one giving enough?
Did you add several great tools to your arsenal that you plan to use?
Did you realize you were already implementing equivalent tools?
Did you realize how many potential bullets you dodged?