Greetings gents, it is said the antidote to judgement and self-righteousness is empathy and self-awareness. In fact, empathy is one of our core values within the Society. As such, I would like to share this simple yet profound message with you. As we prepare for tomorrow, Thanksgiving, let's meet some of our wayward relatives and friends with a fresh set of lens. Cheers

Ok, I am completely flabbergasted. I was talking to some guy at the conference where I am during the reception at the end of the day and was talking about the Society and the vision behind this movement. This guy actually said that things were better now that guys weren't gentlemanly. He was saying that we should not dress well or have good manners. I almost didn't know what to say. There was a lady next to me that seems that she was shocked also. He was also talking about toxic masculinity and he son's friends being trans and stuff like that so I guess it's not too surprising.

I'm surprised we don't have a "dating" category like we did in the last S/OG, so I'm going with "Mental/Physical Well-Being". Anyway, I recently discovered the YouTube Channel "Hoe Math". I know, the name is a bit inappropriate. I don't believe in calling ladies "hoes" (with very rare exception, and even then, it's usually when in the confidence of other men when venting), even if they can act that way. However, beyond the word, the channel makes a lot of great logical points about how dating dynamics work, recognizing one's value, recognizing the how and why behind modern disturbing dating trends, and provides several great tools to determine if any relationship has an equal amount of give and take, referred to as "The Table". As a great sample/intro video, I've added that below (first video). It's about the host reacting to a video where a "lady" with a septum piercing (big red flag off the bat) is trying to make a weak argument that sleeping with 100 men is no different than sleeping with one man 100 times. Yes, she seriously tries to argue that. What does Hoe Math do? Actually breaks it down in a very logical and reasonable way, with some amusing illustrations. I especially felt our younger members could greatly benefit from this, as the host also describes several of the obstacles they'll likely encounter in the modern dating scene, and pitfalls best avoided. The next video is called "The Table", and further breaks down that concept of give-and-take in relationships. Video #3 is another example of a "lady" who uses the "I am the table" argument to exploit services from men, and in return maybe giving them a little attention. When you finish this video, I guarantee you're probably going to vomit in several ways (mentally, emotionally, maybe even physically), reevaluate where you stand with the women in your life, and hopefully make some drastic changes. Spoiler alert: I see this behavior consistently here in California. It's mind boggling how many times what starts as a nice exchange between myself and a prospective lady who shows several signs of strong interest, quickly turns into my being disposable and ghosted as soon as I establish a boundary and decline to do something for them when they either stop stepping up reciprocation, or start withholding base level reciprocation (pulling back the attention they give regardless of my consistent effort). I've never before lived in such a place where it's one-way-benefit transactional as here. Sure, there was always a "transaction" process in some form, but it used to be a little more equal.

I just wanted to remind everyone about the intentional wording of the Society and how it reflects how we should live and values we should uphold at all times. I could not state this better than Scott did in one of his posts so please allow me to use his words. As most of you may have noticed, "ordinary" and "gentlemen" are in the name of the Society. The two labels are intentional. Ordinary: of a kind to be expected in the normal order of events. What is commonplace or standard. For members of the Society, being a gentleman or gentlelady is the expected norm, it is the common mode of behavior, not the uncommon. It is the ordinary man or woman that does extraordinary deeds in times of trouble. Gentleman: a chivalrous, courteous, or honorable man. And in the Society a gentleman or gentlelady also exhibits the traits of honor, civility, discipline, and empathy. As a member of The Society of Ordinary Gentlemen we are "labeling" ourselves with certain traits and the desire to nourish those traits within our community. I wanted to let you know that this post is not aimed at anyone specific, I felt that a reminder was needed.

I just found this short article about shoe leathers. Why the Leather Matters Choosing a pair of quality shoes is not simply a purchase; it’s an investment in durability, comfort, and character. And that character is shaped almost entirely by the hide chosen by the shoemaker. The quality, tannage, and finish of the leather dictate its longevity, the depth of patina it develops, and how gracefully it responds to years of wear. Understanding the journey from raw hide to refined patina is essential for any true shoe connoisseur. Read on as we peel back the layers of the world of premium shoe leathers. Types of Shoe Leathers There is a rich vocabulary in leather, and knowing your full-grain from your pull-up, your suede from your cordovan, can give you a real insider’s understanding. Here are some of the most common and revered types of leather used in high-quality shoes. Full-Grain LeatherOften regarded as the pinnacle of leather quality, full-grain leather comes from the top layer of the hide and retains its natural surface. It shows the inherent markings and characteristics of the hide, which means each piece is unique. Over time, full-grain leather develops a beautiful patina, becoming more characterful with age. Top-Grain LeatherA close cousin to full-grain, top-grain leather is also cut from the top layer of the hide. However, it’s often sanded or buffed to remove imperfections, resulting in a more uniform, smooth surface. Corrected-Grain LeatherThis leather has been altered to give a consistent, even grain. After surface sanding, it’s commonly embossed with an artificial grain texture. The result is a reliable, uniform look, though it sacrifices some of the natural variation of full-grain. SuedeMade from the underside of the hide (split leather), suede offers a delicate, napped finish. It’s soft and flexible but tends to be less durable and requires more careful maintenance than smoother leathers. NubuckTop-grain leather that has been lightly buffed or sanded on the grain side to give a velvety, soft nap. Think of nubuck as a more robust sibling to suede, it has strength but retains that plush feel.