Are you who you say you are? · Society of Ordinary Gentlemen

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Are you who you say you are?

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen,

So many of us on this journey or have been on this journey for a while, for some this is a great time to prevent this from happening and for some it's a time to think and correct what you are already doing.

As we started this journey or evolution of change with our style of clothes. We might look better and stylish but does our words, actions, demeanor, or language match our change. A man by the name of Peter Gollwitzer coined this as the Symbolic Self Completion Theory.

Basically, it means that someone wants a certain identity and they get it by buying the thing that represents that identity rather than doing the thing to embody that identity. For example, they will buy running shoes rather than run or buy a planner to carry around rather than plan.

People will buy nice expensive clothing or expensive ascetic accessories to make themselves look intelligent or a more sophisticated person rather than working on how the talk, handle situations, manage finances, etc. They will try to take the short cuts to impress or to appear better rather than do what it takes to make the change to match the identity or person that they want to be. In the end they end up not happy with themselves, or people see them for who they are.

Wanting to change and be a better person is great and honorable, but you have to put in the work along with the change in clothes, position, or status. People want to be seen as a changed person and that is great, but the best way is what is called a silent flex that shows you are a person of status without telling people you are by how you dress.

Here 12 things that show silent flex

Have calm confidence not performance confidence
Speak with precision avoid using filler words and not try to feel you have to have a say so in everything.
Clothing is quietly expensive not never obvious; you do not have to wear name beans with logos all over your clothing.
Never rush Take your time and be methodical in what you do
move effortlessly your walk so have a low not like a sloth or a rabbit but steady walk.
Never talk about money never discuss your salary, or the price you paid for things.
be selective about what you complain about don't complain out loud in front of people, don't make everything a crisis
Social boundaries a crystal clear; do not post your life on social media
Educate yourself quietly, read book, always learn and study, ask thoughtful questions
Don't chase popularity
protect your privacy like its wealth do not post everything you do online (scarcity makes you interesting)
Remain calm and avoid chaos