How I start conversations that actually convert without a script.

Most people are taught to open DMs with a hook, a compliment and a pitch. And most people can smell it coming from a mile away.

Here’s what I do instead.

Step 1: Find a real reason to reach out.

Something they posted. Something they said in a comment. Something that genuinely caught my attention. If I can’t find a real reason I don’t reach out yet.

Step 2: Lead with curiosity, not agenda.

My first message is always a genuine question or observation. Never a pitch. Never a “I noticed you might need help with X.” Just a real human noticing another real human.

Step 3: Listen more than you talk.

Most DM conversations fail because people are waiting for their turn to pitch instead of actually hearing what the other person is saying.

Here’s what this looks like in real life:

She says: “I’ve been posting every day but nothing is working and I’m exhausted.”

Wrong response: “I can help you with that! I have a program that teaches you how to grow on Instagram.”

Right response: “That exhaustion is real. Can I ask, when you say nothing is working, what does working look like to you? What were you hoping would happen by now?”

Now she’s talking. Now you’re actually hearing her. And now you know exactly what she needs before you ever mention what you offer.

Step 4: Let the offer emerge naturally.

If there’s alignment it shows up in the conversation organically. I never force it. If someone is struggling with something I can genuinely help with I mention it simply and without pressure.

Step 5: Whether they buy or not, stay human.

Every conversation is a relationship not a transaction. The ones who don’t buy today remember how you made them feel and come back later. Or they send you referrals.

The whole framework is built on one belief, that people can feel the difference between someone who wants to help them and someone who wants to close them.

Be the one who actually wants to help. Everything else follows. 🖤

15 comments