In a book called "Out Witting The Devil" there is a concept talked about similar to the cycle of self sabotage. Where you enter this hypnotic state that will all your MIGHT can't seen to escape. You know it's not good. It causes pain.
It causes hurt.There is beauty in that.
You get the opportunity to change. You become aware of how you are operating so that a change can be made.The worst part about pain is not the pain its self. It's the fear of the unknown that comes with it.