There is strength in weakness. Sometimes the bravest thing we can do is break down. I am preparing to leave my life behind and start fresh. I feel like I’ve already triumphed so many mountains, yet somehow my journey is just beginning. An odd place to rest within this wild adventure of the human experience. A pit stop before I begin again. My resilience is what got me through the first trek of rising above adversity/harsh family dynamics. However, I feel this next part of my journey will require a different sort of strength: the courage to be vulnerable. The courage to be seen in my nakedness. The courage to speak my truth. The courage to be unashamed of pain, sensitivity, & uniqueness. The courage to be misunderstood and judged. This sort of strength may come easier to some. However, it’s a real challenge for someone who got through life by being their own rock. I’ve always been the one to hold it together for my family…blessing them with endless graciousness, kindness, and patience. Now I must learn how to receive what I have given. Now I must learn how to let others help me. Now is time to let go of my fear of rejection. Being self sufficient is a protection mechanism when it becomes extreme. Yet, after repeated disappointment, I was left with only myself to rely on. I am tired of this. I am tired of being alone. I am tired of feeling like an alien when I know there’s plenty of fellow aliens out there to connect with. I am done containing what needs to be seen. After reading this back to myself, I asked myself why do I feel like an alien? Why have I always felt most alone when with others? Why am I like this? Why have I struggled so hard to connect when I love humans? Why do I isolate myself? I feel the answer pertains to this deep power within me. My power intimidates me. My intuition just knows things. I just know things lol. Since a child, I have received intense downloads. I would receive intense waves of insight and knowing that are hard to capture with words. A wave of imagery, and direct gnosis would leave me disoriented. Since a child, I’ve known that there’s much more to this “reality” than we were taught. I knew there’s much more to humans than we were taught. These downloads set me on a quest for truth since day 1 lol. I would question things like pain. I would play with numbers and find hidden patterns. I was doing some alien shit as a child lmao. However, the world sort of killed my inner genius as it tends to do. As I grew older, I became self conscious of sensitivity/powers. My mom struggles mentally and can come off as a bit insane to be honest. While my Dad is highly critical of me. The combination of the two turned me into a perfectionist——not wanting to give anyone reason to question if I’m mentally ill like my mom. So I contained my uniqueness. I never told anyone about the downloads. Yet, there is no stop to my curiosity. I continued to question everything. I was piecing together “conspiracy theories” in elementary school. Around 6th grade, I became deeply connected with certain music artists like Kanye, Tupac, and Kendrick who seemed to speak to me through their music. You could say I’m clairaudient as the divine has a way of speaking to me through music. Fast forward to 2020, I was 16 and already well aware of the New World Order, but still confused of how we got here. I was/am deeply intrigued with “aliens” and sought to know more. I sensed that Covid was a part of the demonic agenda’s fuckery and started reading David Icke when school shut down. This really sort of fucked me up as I became aware of the matrix on all levels. Being 16 with this level of knowledge was a bit overwhelming while simultaneously comforting as it satisfied my thirst for truth. The main thing that stuck with me within the thousands of pages I read about satanic elite, reptilians, holographic reality, etc, is this quote that an entity said to David the one time he tried ayahuasca,

What the world needs, perhaps now more than ever, is love. But what is love? I guess there could be as many definitions as there are people. Share yours! I’ve spent a lot of time with the question the past year and personally I’ve landed in articulating it as; Love is to genuinely want the best for another. Curious to hear how you define love.

I’ve been reflecting on something lately, and I’m genuinely curious how others see it. It concerns contemporary spirituality and personal development culture. There is so much language today about: • sovereignty • alignment • stepping into your highest self • expanding your capacity • becoming more powerful • building your own container And at first glance, much of this sounds healthy. Especially for wounded people. Healing matters. Growth matters. Learning to stand upright matters. But I find myself asking: What is the final direction of this growth? Is it toward deeper communion , or toward a more refined form of self-centeredness? In the Christian tradition (and especially in the Eastern understanding of theosis), the goal of spiritual ascent is not self-expansion but participation in divine life. To become “like God” does not mean becoming sovereign and self-defining. It means becoming self-giving. God is not an isolated super-self. God is communion. Love poured out. If the cup is filled with divine love, the natural movement is overflow. First toward family, then friends, then community, and ultimately the world. Not: “How do I enlarge my cup?” But: “How do I let it pour?” What I sometimes sense in modern spirituality is a subtle shift. The starting point is often healing wounded individuals. This is good. But if the path never moves beyond “my alignment,” “my energy,” “my fulfillment,” then the ascent stalls. It can even invert. Because a spirituality centered on “my highest good” risks becoming a polished form of egocentrism, even if it feels expansive, powerful, luminous. There is a real difference between: • being filled so you can give and • being filled so you can feel more full. One leads to communion. The other can quietly lead to isolation, even if it feels intoxicating. This doesn’t mean self-denial in a pathological way. It doesn’t mean pleasing others at the expense of well-being. On the contrary: You must be rooted, healed, strengthened.

Even at 640k followers I still have fear in my body when posting. So wanted to take a moment today and speak a bit into this energy and my process for navigating it. The inertia is stronger than normal because I've not been posting for quite a long time. I'm also on a secret mission in a new Asian country and cannot post any Instagram stories. So... I'm out of momentum big time with showing myself online. And so... the pressure has been building up. The more time it goes between each post I make, the more pressure I feel to drop an absolute banger that goes ballistic and blows everyone's minds. When I'm posting more regularly, I give less fucks and I'm less caught up on the individual posts. It's like the saying goes, when it rains it pours. Momentum is a real thing, and it's very evident when it comes to content creation. Courage however, as you all know, is not being fearless. It's doing the thing that needs doing, when the fear is strongest. Time to get back to posting. Blessings on blessings. The fog is clearing. The thunderclouds are opening and the sun is peaking through. A new era is on the horizon. The time is now. PS: Here is a photo of me and one of the biggest UK influencers. He's not the most conscious of creators, but I can tell he's got a pure heart. Randomly met him on my mission. Maybe you know who he his?

Have you ever heard that your craving for either sugar or salt says something about your deeper desires? I've been testing this, and honestly the results have been scary? Do you crave salt or sugar more? I personally have a serious problem with sugar. Well what do you think of this? If you crave salt, you are craving adventure in your life. If you crave sugar, you long for more love and attention. Well, does this align with you?