Trapped in Psychosis for 3 Days - Breakthrough Story ✨ (trigger warning)

Hi, I'm Nikki, and this is the story of my awakening.

1. BEFORE — The Girl Who Silenced Herself 😔

I used to live inside my own disconnection. My body was a battlefield, my emotions an enemy. I would punch walls just to feel something, or cut my skin hoping someone would see my pain.

Beneath the chaos was a secret my body never forgot: the memory of being sexually assaulted at just 11, and again at 14. I blamed myself and turned to alcohol and drugs to numb my pain.

I didn’t know it yet, but I was becoming the perfect reflection of a world that rewards silence and punishes sensitivity. My aliveness became my greatest threat.

2. CRISIS — The Mushroom Awakening 🍄

It was supposed to be a holiday in Bali. Six friends, laughter, adventure — but Bali has a way of revealing truth. One night, my drink was spiked with mushrooms by one of my friends without my consent. (I had no idea at the time). What followed was a descent into psychosis — and I became trapped in psychosis for 3 DAYS!

I begged for help, but was met with "Nikki, it's all in your head, snap out of it".

Friends I had known for eight years turned away, called me crazy, left me in a hospital on a foreign island. Believing I was going to die I turned to God and asked for a second chance. I promised that I'd change my life, and help others if he spared my life.

The next morning I woke up alone in a psychiatric ward, covered in blood. 🩸No phone. No passport. No money. And no idea how I'd escape. In that sterile room, stripped of identity, I woke up. 👁️ That was the day my real life began.

(ohh and I never saw those friends ever again.)

3. CHASE — The Quest for Redemption

I had no idea how to heal from this, so I did what our culture teaches — I tried to fix my pain through achievement. I left Adelaide, moved to Sydney, became a personal trainer at a prestigious gym. My discipline became my drug. Weights replaced alcohol, perfection replaced chaos. The body I had once abandoned became my armour.

From bodybuilding trophies🏆 to self-help seminars, I chased meaning in every direction — mindset work, money, performance. I mastered control, but not connection. I built confidence, but not safety.

I didn’t realize I had simply traded one mask for another.

4. CONFLICT — The Collapse of the Mask

Success came quickly — clients, income, recognition, impact. I made 100k in one month, built a multi-six-figure business, lived in a 4 bedroom penthouse overlooking the ocean, had over 500 women on my coaching waitlist. But behind the image, I was disintegrating.

I drank on weekends, dated men who mirrored my unhealed wounds, and performed confidence while feeling empty. I remember standing in my luxury apartment, looking around, and thinking,“How can I have everything I wanted and still feel like something is missing?” 😣

I realized I had built my empire on the same foundation of suppression I swore to escape. I was teaching women to empower themselves, while terrified to own my truth. And beneath it all was the same terrified little girl who still didn’t feel safe to be seen.

When the burnout finally took everything, I surrendered. I let go of my masculine shield, 🛡️ I stopped reaching outward and turned inward. This time, not into another program or philosophy — but into my own BODY. I attracted the most incredible spiritual man into my life - I thought he was my twin flame! 🔥

The relationship felt perfect, he moved in, we were healing our attachment styles, reading all the books on tantra - doing all the stuff "conscious couples" do. We moved to Bali together and the cracks began to show. I'd worked SO hard to listen to my body, yet now I felt like I couldn't use my voice!

I was shamed for wearing bathers, couldn't go to unisex saunas for recovery, and told I wasn't devoted enough. And I believed him. I silenced my intuitive knowing that something felt off.

Eventually I realised I was self-abandoning to hold onto the potential for what the relationship was, rather than facing the reality for what it became. (hello karmic cycle haha)

5. BREAKTHROUGH — The Voice Beneath Silence

Why was I SO AFRIAD of using my voice? I knew this karmic cycle of suppression ran deep.

So I began the work of remembrance — the kind that can't be read in a book, but remembered through altar work, womb healing, feminine embodiment, ritual, prayer, and ancestral communion. I turned to ancient Kemetic Egyptian mystery teachings 𓋹 and began working intimately with Lady Isis and Ma'at. (sheeesh was this an initiation!)

I sang for my ancestors, danced for my wounded inner child, cried for the women who had never been allowed to speak. My healing stopped being mental masturbation 🧠 and became embodied.

That’s when my voice returned — literally and energetically. I launched my podcast Sovereign Rising and began speaking the truth I had spent decades hiding. Each episode felt like an exorcism of shame and a reclamation of lineage. 🌹 And women began writing to me: “You’re telling my story, thank you.” I realized that my visibility wounds weren’t just personal. They were ancestral. I was never just healing for me — I was healing for the generations before me who couldn’t.

6. AFTER — The Rebirth of the Sovereign Woman

Today, my life is my art. My voice, my revolution. Authentic expression isn’t just my brand — it’s my devotion. I started opera singing again, dancing, and even started uploading videos of me dancing on my instagram! (edgy) 😮‍💨

Now, I guide leaders to feel safe being seen, to express their truth through their business, their art, their soul-mission. To remember that the nervous system is the first temple of leadership — and that safety is the new magnetism.

I no longer chase perfection. I serve truth.

I no longer seek validation. I embody liberation.

I no longer silence my voice. I use it to awaken others.

🌴 Soon, I’m moving to Costa Rica to live in deeper alignment with the values I teach — freedom, expression, earth connection, and sovereignty. My mission is to work with New Earth Leaders — one liberated voice at a time. Because every woman who reclaims her voice becomes a portal of remembrance, for all of humanity.

Watch my breakthrough story on IG: https://www.instagram.com/p/DOKLyZ0k1Mm/ 📹

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