My Breakthrough Story · New Earth Community

My Breakthrough Story

I grew up in the Netherlands. As a child, I was always very shy. From a young age, there was a strong drive of energy inside me to create. I drew a lot, loved being outside, and played football with friends as much as I could. From the outside, I probably looked like a calm, quiet kid, but on the inside I wanted so much more than I was actually doing. I noticed that I found it very difficult to express myself, and over time this made me smaller and smaller. Eventually, I didn’t really dare to speak my own opinion anymore because I was always afraid of what other people would think of me.

Am I doing this right? Can I even say this? Why would I say this?

Because of several things that happened during that period, these feelings only grew stronger…

The moment that had a major impact on me came when I was in high school. A very close friend of mine had presumably taken his own life. It felt unreal and made me think deeply. I had actually been shielding myself from my emotions for years. Why did this happen? I also quickly realized that I absolutely hated school and that it was slowly shaping me into someone I didn’t want to be. I drew less, stayed inside more, and started wondering: is this really all life has to offer me? I began thinking more in terms of problems and things I didn’t want to do.

Even though I was in a gymnasium-level program, I felt no drive to learn. I skipped classes a lot and was completely tangled up inside myself. I found it very hard to ask for help—I simply didn’t dare—so I pretended everything was fine and drifted through this phase of my life without any real direction.

While cycling to school one day, I had a serious accident and hit my head on a curb. The result was a concussion, jaw problems, and a broken nose (which I only found out much later). I refused to ask for help because I thought it would be fine and because I felt ashamed. About two years later, I was involved in a car accident, and I’m extremely grateful that I’m still here today.

At 18, I moved out and started living on my own. Eventually, I got my HAVO diploma and started an HBO program, where the same symptoms and behavior continued. After a year, I quit the program and started working in a printing and cardboard factory.

One of the things I used as an escape was gaming. It gave me a place to express myself, and I met many people there with whom I had great conversations. Eventually, this gave me enough energy to start looking at what I actually wanted to do. Even though I wasn’t 100% sure yet, I knew one thing for certain: I wanted to create again.

I started saving money and enrolled in a game art program. I thought this would combine my outlet and my urge to create. For this program, I had to go through a selection process, and only 200 people were accepted. Being selected gave me a huge boost in confidence. I met new people there and slowly started opening up more.

Still, I felt that something was missing and that this wasn’t what I truly wanted to do. I wanted more. More freedom. More of the world. More of my authentic self—the version I had always wanted to be as a child. Around this time, I met my partner, Julia. I’m incredibly grateful for her, because she helped me (consciously or unconsciously) express my emotions more.

During COVID, I came across a YouTube video of someone who was a trader, traveling the world and working from anywhere. That moment started my trading journey, without knowing that it would become one of the biggest personal development paths I’ve ever experienced. This had to be it. There was no way back.

I thought I would pick up trading quickly. I locked myself in my room for months. All I did was watch trading education, learn, apply, and lose. Learn a new strategy, trade, lose. There were some winning periods in between, but whenever things went well for a longer time, I always found a way to mess it up again. I thought the problem was the strategy, and that’s how I stayed stuck in a vicious cycle for three years.

I fell into a depressive state and didn’t want to focus on anything other than trading. I was truly delusional—not in a productive way, but in a way where everything else in my life slowly faded away. During this period, I also got seriously injured twice. First, a snowboarding crash that tore my knee ligaments, and a year later, a bouldering accident where I tore my knee ligaments and meniscus again.

Looking back, these were clear signals that I needed to take a step back, because I had completely stopped prioritizing my health in pursuit of this trading dream. This was my lowest point. Trading wasn’t working, and mentally and physically I was a mess. I didn’t know what to do anymore. Thankfully, Julia was by my side and pulled me through this period. I’m deeply grateful for that.

My rehabilitation and personal development began. I started looking for other ways to understand why things weren’t working. I realized that I couldn’t keep looking for external solutions to fix unresolved internal problems. This is where my spiritual journey and physical rehabilitation truly started.

During this period, I did a lot of inner work and went to physiotherapy three times a week to rehabilitate my knee. Through meditation, breathwork, and the consistent structure of training and rehab, I began to learn more about myself. Slowly, an inner flame reignited—one I had lost along the way.

My trading also improved significantly, because I was no longer searching for the next best thing. The next best thing was my own mind. I started working seriously: tracking all my trades, collecting data, and improving systematically. During this time, I slowly let go of my old insecure identity and stepped into a new, improved version of myself.

Now, 30 years after my birth, I feel better than ever. I feel reconnected with little Djarano—the one who had big dreams. In a month, I’ll be back on my snowboard after a year and a half of rehabilitation, and every day I’m incredibly grateful for the loving people around me. I take better care of my body and mind, and every day I take steps toward making my dreams a reality.

Since June 2025, I’ve had only one losing month in trading, and I’m experiencing incredible growth in this area. My dreams have only grown bigger. This is just the beginning of what’s to come. And I also want to inspire you to go after your dreams. Take that chance—what’s holding you back?

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