I know holidays can bring even more stress and anxiety in the midst of navigating infidelity. You have permission to do what you need to feel peace. It’s not selfish, it’s self care. Set boundaries, leave the room, take a walk, whatever you need to reset and ground yourself. You are not alone. Reach out if you need help. Paul

I have uploaded a lesson I think will be beneficial to you all as we enter the holiday season. Check out the Surviving the Holidays lesson under Classroom/Free Resources/Video lessons

Brothers, we are meeting today at 1 pm for a special live session on one of the hardest questions men face after betrayal: How do you know when it is time to walk away? If you are feeling stuck, confused, exhausted, or unsure of what your next step should be, this session is for you. We will slow everything down and look at this question from a place of clarity instead of fear. We will cover: - How to evaluate this decision without rushing or reacting - The difference between emotional clarity and crisis thinking - How to look honestly at your wife’s actions and patterns - What staying or leaving means for your long term stability - How to process the kid factor and the fear of losing time - A simple framework you can use to get real clarity This session is not about pushing you to stay or pushing you to leave. It is about helping you see the full picture so you can move toward the healthiest version of yourself. Join us at 1 pm. Everyone is welcome. Join through the calendar tab and click today’s event. If you plan to be there, drop a comment so we know who is joining.

So glad each one of you is in this group. This is a place where we can heal as men, as husbands, as fathers without shame, without judgment. I’m sorry you’re having to navigate this journey, but you are not alone. Feel free to drop a quick intro below let us know where you’re from!

I chose to end my marriage today. I told my wife "I need to be honest with you. I can’t stay in this marriage. I’ve talked to a lawyer to understand the steps, and I’m going to move into an apartment so we can shift into a stable co-parenting setup. This isn’t about a single moment. It’s just where I’ve landed after everything. I’m not trying to fight. I’m just moving forward." I did one last check on her devices last night and found that she was still talking to the affair partner in a sexual way, which she has continued to lie about. I don't need to get into the details, but it was bad enough that I knew this was the moment of no return. I know I'm still committed to working on myself, learning how to effectively co-parent, reconnecting to my hobbies and passions, improving my health, and journaling. The decision to end my marriage doesn't change any of that. But I'm wresting with the decision even though I know it's the right one. I saw something that said "Avoidant behaviors collapse when the “fallback partner” is gone. Affair dynamics crumble without secrecy and distance." The realization that I've become the fallback partner has helped me find the clarity I needed. I am concerned for her mental health as she deals with the fallout, but I also acknowledge that is no longer my weight to bear. It only matters how she shows up for our kids. I know I've only been with this group for a short time, and I know this isn't the outcome any of us are looking for, but it feels right in the moment. I hope to continue participating here for the sake of my own growth, and thank you to everyone who has provided even a little bit of support over the past 5 weeks. There's still a lot of pain and trauma to deal with as I move into this process with her, but finding clarity, even only for a moment, has been a lifesaver.