Fear of Healing chapter

Brandi Jade

Nov '23 (edited) • Feed

I know a lot of people believe that Healing the body is either unimportant , impossible or not likely ….

But this chapter gives me the impression healing the body is important and shows how to heal ourselves.

I’m gonna share some ACIM quotes & some context first before I ask my question & share my struggle….

ACIM says:

“ Damaged (sick) bodies are accusers”

“ Accusation is a block against love (god)”

“ damaged bodies stand firmly against trust in peace,

Proclaiming that the frail can have no trust, and that the damaged can hold no grounds for peace”

“ who has been injured by his brother, and could love and trust him still”

“ how can I trust God if I am damaged and sick”

I resonate very deeply with this and can totally see how the subconscious mind created this protector

(or defense) in order to protect myself from further abuse. “Accusing” him as dangerous, unsafe, bad/wrong for the abuse & separating myself from him in order to find safety & get my joy /peace back

I also can totally resonate with an inability to trust & love a “brother” whom I feel injured by

So my question is…..how does one “trust” a brother whose been incredibly violent to you ?

And I’m not just talking about someone who’s yelling & in rage….

I’m talking about someone who should probably be n jail…..Threatening to kill, hitting, kicking, choking, spitting on, terrorizing, stalking etc…

And actually the WORST of the abuse was his use of God or ACIM concepts in order to try manipulate,control and dominate me. (The Physical abuse is way easier to overcome than the psychological/spiritual abuse)

Constantly screaming & raging at me saying “we’re souls NOT human egos” (implying if I really loved him I wouldn’t be having any feelings about the abuse and I’d just be able to love him undconditionaly which in his mind is accepting & enduring the abuse)

Saying “it’s in the past!” (Implying if I was more forgiving I’d get over it) when I say I don’t want to be treated in this way etc etc

I’ve been working on my unforgiveness and my fear of him …..and have made a lot of progress because I no longer obsess on how I’m going to defend or protect myself if he were to come back & try to kill me or hurt me ….obsessing on which weapons I’d use , in which order and how I’d respond. I no longer wish for his punishment and hate his guts for stealing my peace/joy and destroying my health and everything I worked so hard for.

I wish him the best but still wish he would disappear and not live so close to me & make me feel like he’s stalking me and never going to let me go.

I no longer fear death & don’t really fear him trying to get violent with me anymore

But I CAN NOT imagine “trusting” him as a brother

🫤🥴😧

How do you “trust” a brother who’s treated you with such contempt & hatred and still remain safe ?

I’m willing to work on my own “attack thoughts” internally …..but trying to translate what this ACIM passage is trying to tell me to do as far as “trusting” him

It is hard enough just trying to trust myself & God after such terrifying experiences ……now your telling me to “trust” my bother!!!

Or would he still be considered “a brother” if he’s acting like an enemy that wants me dead?

I’m really struggling on this if it’s implying I need to trust someone who’s untrustworthy

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