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15d (edited) • Intellectual/Personal Growth💡
💛 Relating to Others Without Losing Your Drive for Excellence
🔥 RELATING TO OTHERS IS NOT YOUR EXCUSE TO STAY SMALL
(post inspired by a recent conversation with in his group! Also had a recent podcast with someone that touched on changing course and not needing to be stuck )
It feels powerful to be understood. Co-regulation, empathy and validation help calm the nervous system and reduce emotional overload. But...let’s be honest for a second...Too many people stop there. They feel seen, they feel validated, and then they camp out in the same place that has been holding them back.Compassion helps you stabilize, but stability is fuel for forward motion, not an excuse to stay comfortable. Just because compassion brings comfort doesn'tmean that we need to lay in that bed.
Some science because why not nerd it out a little bit?
Empathy reduces shame activation, which is important because shame triggers the threat system and suppresses prefrontal cortex functioning. When that part of the brain goes offline, motivation, planning and healthy decision making become harder. It's more likely to keep us stuck. This is why shame rarely produces real change.
Here's the thing though, compassion is not the finish line and validation does not need to equal resignation. It is the starting line.Validation gets you out of fight or freeze, but what you do next is on you and this matters.
✨ Striving for Excellence
Excellence is about alignment with values and taking consistent action towards them. It involves using strengths/skills/abilities and practicing intentionality and taking actions that support long term wellbeing. It's a daily choice to rise even when it hurts--this is resilience in motion and ownership. Grit, if you wanna call it that. You can offer yourself compassion for where you are while STILL directing yourself toward growth.
You can hold both truths:“I understand why I feel this way” and “I am capable of choosing something healthier.”
Compassion creates stability.Stability supports change.And change becomes sustainable when the mind is not weighed down by shame or a sense of "i'm not doing enough, I'm not enough". So, drop the shame, but not the standards. You can honor your past or where you are, but you can REFUSE to let it dictate your ceiling.
So, to end....You are capable of amazing things, you wonderful human. Understand yourself, understand others and go get at it!! :) You can do hard things! :)
Question: What helps motivate you? What is something that you're striving for in life?
(I may come back and add a video but I gotta get going!)
I have an inner critic and that's who motivates me (does it though?)
I am motivated by seeing the example of others
I have an inner voice that helps support and encourage me
I am encouraged by others in general
Other
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💛 Relating to Others Without Losing Your Drive for Excellence
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