"“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation" Henry David Thoreau "Alas for those that never sing, But die with all their music in them!" Oliver Wendell Holmes I think about the Thoreau quote often and wonder the sparks that people keep hidden inside of them...One of the blessings and more rewarding parts of my job is that sometimes I get to help people explore this--to help bring out the spark that makes them feel alive. Seeing someone's eyes light up is such a privilege and brings so much joy. It can be easy to drift through life without much intention, agency, or self reflection. It's easy to keep ourselves trapped in a cage of our own making. But....we CAN create a life that doesn't turn into desperation or having us go to the grave with the song still in our hearts.. Here are some things to consider: 1. Name Your Values And Revisit Them Often -when people feel they are “quietly desperate,” it is usually because their lives drift far away from what they actually care about. How to do it: a. Write down the top five things you want your life to stand for b.Ask yourself weekly: “Did I live 1% percent closer to these?” c. Let your values make small decisions easier, so you avoid emotional autopilot Psychology tie in: Values based behavior reduces avoidance and increases a sense of agency :) 2. Practice Micro Courage Quiet desperation often grows from years of small silences--of not speaking up, not trying to step outside of the comfort zone, not risking and not starting. Micro courage: tiny brave acts a. Sending the email/text b. trying the class c. sking the question d.making the change while it is still small Psychology tie in: Every micro act of courage builds your psychological flexibility and shrinks your fear barrier. 3. Get Out Of “All Or Nothing” Thinking A reason people end up feeling stuck is because they think change must be massive or immediate.When the mind goes all or nothing, it has a much harder time acting in some instances. Some people can operate on the 'go big or go home' mentality, but likely they've had a lot of practice in saying yes to smaller steps along the way to where it can be easier to embark on the bigness.

As the "busy" holiday season approaches, I'm hearing a lot of people talk about the stress that they feel in their lives, so I figured I'd write a little bit about stress. Most of us grew up thinking stress is the enemy, something to try to get rid of and vanquish. The thing ruining our cortisol levels and creating toxins in the cells and killing them. While it's true that chronic stress can absolutely wear you down, the fuller story can be more empowering. Stress is NOT always harmful. In many cases, stress is a built in biological performance booster which can be a cool force to our advantage. The problem is not stress itself but how we interpret it and how long it stays turned on. Here are some different ways to think about stress: 💪Stress is Not the Enemy Stress is a natural activation signal from your nervous system. It increases alertness, sharpens attention, and helps you rise to a challenge. This sounds like a good thing, right? Short term stress can -increase focus -boost motivation -improve memory -sharpen problem solving -strengthen resilience -create meaning, because we only stress about what matters When we interpret stress as a resource/partner rather than a threat, your body responds differently. The narratives that we create matter. Our cardiovascular system functions better and our nervous system shifts into a more adaptive mode. A lot of research backs up the idea that our mindset really does matter significantly. Your mindset acts as a lens through which you see the world. It impacts what you notice and how you interpret different situations. This takes place through the confirmation bias so it's imperative to look at what we believe about ourselves and the world because we have the endency to look for information that matches our beliefs. 💥 When Stress Becomes Harmful Stress becomes destructive when -it lasts too long -you feel trapped -you feel unsupported -you have no sense of control/level of autonomy -your body never gets a recovery window

A little personal background (not necessary to read to get the content below): Back in 2017 I had decided that 2018 was going to be a "Year of Yes" (title inspired by Shonda Rhymes--creator of Grey's Anatomy and Scandal). Out of necessity rather than desire, I've had to make some bold and uncomfortable moves in 2017 and I told myself that 2018 had to be different.. It HAD to for my own sanity..I didn't want to be a spectator in my own life and wanted to be an active agent... So...that year consisted of saying yes to all sorts of things--yes to doing deep work (thank you Bible/God, thank you Brene Brown, thank you other books and friends), yes to things that scared me (e.g. speaking at a seminar, doing a radio show, running a self esteem workshop, doing activities solo, saying 'no' to things that didn't fit what I actually needed), saying yes to different connections ( @LaTanya Carter -I appreciate you more than you'll ever know!!!) . I stumbled A LOT and fell often, but I also became more confident, more independent, more conscientious of boundaries, more of myself. As a result of 2018, 2019 became my 'resurrection' year or my 'phoenix' year. Rising from the ashes. (Funny that it coincided with my 33rd year in life-maybe that's why I called it the resurrection year). So....as I'm reflecting on this past year and coming up into the next, I figured it's time...It's time for another "Year of Yes". I think it's been brewing. ______________BEGIN THE REAL POST________________________________ *Please watch the video if you have th time. :) :) People hear the phrase a "Year of Yes" and automatically think that it means impulsive decisions, saying yes to a bunch of new activities, being busy with all sorts of things, "bucket list"...But the reality is that it's more like..exposure therapy for the soul. It's breaking up with things that hold you back from living an aligned life. It's saying no to things like unhelpful fear, perfectionism, people pleasing, overthinking, self-doubt and the "maybe later" type language.

🌿The Benefits of Wonder and Awe for Your Well Being Last night it was snowing and before getting into my car to drive home, I just looked up. The light was hitting the snow just perfectly and it felt like I was in a sparkling snowglobe...and there was this small moment of joy and warmth. The cold didn't hit in the same way, it felt more energizing than deathly feeling. One look up and the moment shifted from my inner dialogue saying "ugh...i hate the cold so much to "wow, it sure is beautiful out here. How cool that I get to experience this". A moment of awe and noticing the beauty in something shifted the inner experience. Awe and wonder-the moments that make your brain go "Wow" and your nervous system soften. It brings on a sense of joy and gratitude. Psychologically, wonder and awe acts like a reset button. Studies show that a sense of awe can and do reduce stress markers, lower inflammation and support healthier cell functioning. When you experience awe your body releases chemicals that calm the threat system and activate the part of the nervous system that restores and repairs. Wonder has a sense of curiosity attached to it and awe also expands your sense of time and increases feelings of meaning which boosts overall emotional well-being. Awe also shifts your perspective. It shrinks the inner critic and enlarges the sense of connection with a bigger world. So how do we engage with it more often? You do not need a mountaintop (though, if you have one, go!). You need intentional attention. Here are some strategies: ✨ Seek micro wonder. Tiny pieces of beauty count. The pattern on a leaf. A song that hits your chest. A cloud in the sky :) A snowflake up close. The up-close look in someone's eyes (make sure they're okay with it! ha) ✨ Slow your pace. The nervous system needs a little margin to take in what is around you. Take a few grounding breaths and look around. One of my favorite books has the phrase "look up" in it--pointing to the idea of looking outside of selves.

Greetings fellow empowered beings!! :) As we're approaching this last month, let's take a look at the past year (things we've achieved, lessons we've learned, things we've left behind and added) and let's use that to mobilize us in this next month. Let's use this last month of the year to build momentum and get a running start into 2026. We don't have to wait.... We treat January like it has magical powers when really it is just a month with better PR. Psychologically speaking, December is prime time for momentum building. It is the month where the brain naturally shifts into reflection mode, which means insight is already simmering and it might make it the perfect time to launch! A lot of people experience SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) in the winter months--- so I think that it's really really important to look at the habits that we engage in and how this either contributes, reinforces or helps ease this effect. (side note--with my clients in Michigan, I start having conversations about this in September because the weather here along with the habits really influence people's experiences for 6 months at a time!! We can't control the weather, BUT we can do things differently). *****So, how are you using December and what are your intentions? *****How will you use this past year as a way to move into the next? Here are some questions to consider as you look back on your past year (questions are part of an AAR (After Action Review). 1. What did we intend to accomplish (what was our strategy)? 2. What did we do (how did we execute relative to our strategy)? 3. Why did it happen that way (why was there a difference between strategy and execution)? 4. What will we do to adapt our strategy or refine our execution for a better outcome OR how do we repeat our success?