Major Money Breakthrough! · High Vibe Tribe

Major Money Breakthrough!

I’ve had a pretty major money breakthrough recently, and I wanted to share it in case anyone else relates. I’m currently reading Rich as F** by Amanda Frances, and within the first few chapters, something really clicked for me.

Without going too deep into my personal situation, last year was rock bottom for me, and I’m still rebuilding my life. Recently, I had to go to the immigration office to switch my permit from being tied to my marriage to being tied to my new job, because my marriage is falling apart.

I was told the new photo would cost 7 euros, but nobody told me the new residence card itself would cost 98 euros. I had completely forgotten about that kind of fee, and when it came time to pay, I realized I didn’t have enough in my checking account. I knew I could transfer money from savings, but I only had 100 euros in savings total. So if I moved enough over to cover the card, I’d be left with about 25 euros to get through the next week or two until payday. I wasn’t happy about it, but I had already reached that point of, “Okay. I’ll make it work. I always do.”

I had to step outside the building to transfer the money because there was no phone signal inside. Right before my appointment, I had checked my bank account, so I knew exactly what was in there. When I stepped outside and refreshed my account, I saw that my company had just deposited over 300 euros into my account.

The reason that mattered is that they owed me a travel reimbursement, but accounting had put all reimbursements on hold due to an internal process issue. Apparently, the CEO pushed back and said they couldn’t do that to employees, so the money was finally released. And it came through at that exact moment.

I felt immediate relief, obviously, but what hit me even harder was the pattern I suddenly saw:

Money is always there for me, but it keeps arriving like the cavalry at the very end of the battle. That’s when I realized I had been relating to money as a savior. Not steady support. Not stability. And if I’m honest, I think I was also unconsciously hooked on the stress-relief cycle. Panic --> surrender --> last-minute save.

Once I saw that, I could trace it straight back to childhood.

I grew up with a mother who had extreme narcissistic tendencies. I’m not diagnosing her, but the pattern was constant: wound, then soothe. She would create distress, undermine me, take away my peace, and then, once I finally cracked, she would step in as the savior. She needed to be needed. Independence threatened that. So, of course, that pattern embedded itself deeply.

What I’m sitting with now is this: maybe money does not need to arrive as a rescue mission. Maybe support does not have to come through suffering. Maybe I do not need to be pushed to the edge in order to be worthy or successful.

@Aaron Doughty

always says "Awareness is 90% of transformation," right?

I think a lot of people probably have some version of this, even if the details are different.

So now I’m asking myself: what do I do with this awareness?

Maybe the next step is just noticing it in real time. Catching the old pattern when it activates. Reminding myself that I do not need to recreate stress in order to receive support. That money can be steady, safe, and ordinary.

Anyway, I’d love to know if anyone else has experienced something similar.

4 comments