Back not too long ago I used to think negative emotions/emotions where you didn't feel the best were a bad thing that we should strive to avoid but only recently have I realised how foolish that was. Let me explain. For example boredom: everything around you in your environment is designed to keep you hyper-stimulated constantly and boredom is a rare thing these days. It really only happens rarely, like in the rare case that whenever you're out on a road trip and your phone dies or whatever. Those are the only times that, for most people, it actually hits them and they get hit with the feeling of boredom. But actually it's a good thing because you see all the greatest ideas, all the most brilliant things, were made by people who had a lot of boredom of course. They came up with these brilliant ideas for making the iPhone, things of that nature, because they allowed themselves to get bored. It's something that I do daily. I like to just stare at the wall and just think, reflect, plan out ideas, for 30 minutes. It's a really brilliant thing and I just want to say that too many people try to avoid it. Too many people, as soon as they are just waiting for the food to come out of a restaurant, they'll just go straight to their phone. I'm not gonna lie, sometimes I do that as well. I am not perfect with this but sometimes it can be really good for you, valuable, to get by that boredom and to embrace it. You'll get your best ideas and it's good for your nervous system too whenever you're not hyper-stimulating it all the time and always being in a mode where you need to reply to message and etc. It's good to shut off from that every now and then.

I'm reading Vadim Zeland's Mastering Reality, he has a chapter called Superstition Vaccine, which basically states not to count our chickens before they hatch - not to boast about anything before you have it (or anything you can lose). So, how do we balance acting as if what we want is already ours, already having our desires without doing this? For context, I recently went through 3 rounds of interviews for a job I really wanted. It felt perfect - the location, the responsibilities, etc. I told my current colleagues because I was excited and we are all looking for jobs since our current company is headed toward insolvency. I booked hotel rooms in advance for weeks I knew I had to travel (luckily, with the option to pay later and cancel if needed). I thought this was all part of acting as if... They told me I was their top candidate...then chose someone else. I started questioning everything I thought I knew about manifesting/attracting/ quantum leaping, etc. In hindsight, I think it's good that it caused me to reexamine my beliefs. But I'm still not grasping the difference between acting as if, and not telling anyone.

I used to think there was this perfect point, this dream milestone where you will stop having problems altogether. And I have sadly seen most people think, "Ah whenever I go on that vacation then I can be happy. Then I can do what I really want to do and be stress-free from problems." But the thing is there will always be problems after problem and you need to stop waiting for a completion of anything, let me explain… If you're not living the life that you want to live right now because you're just saying, "Oh I'll just do this thing I hate now but then when I make the money then that's when I'll do what I really want to do," you're lying to yourself. You could be living your best life right now and no matter what, anyway there will be problem after problem. There will be an issue with your video editing software if you pursue content creation. It'll crash. You will have to download it again or something. There will be hate comments. There will be people calling you a scammer, a liar, a cheater, but that is what it's all about: solving problem after problems that come with your purpose. The key here is to solve the problems that you authentically want to that make you happy. For example whatever pain you really had that really affected your life, you can monetize that and you can make a living out of your passion. That's a beautiful life right there. You help people with the pain and what you struggle with so much and you can make a living off that. It's a win, win for both people: you get paid, you are fulfilled, your clients are happy with their results, and they fix the pain. Awesome, beautiful, so just keep this in mind, stop hoping for a completion of anything in life. Choose the problems you want to solve, do not do the thing you hate now in hope for a better future.

Hi everyone, I’ve been a little quiet here lately. For a while, I was sharing a series of successes, and then life got very full very quickly. To put things into perspective: last November, I got a new job that genuinely felt like a saving grace. It helped me get out of a very difficult situation, and for that I’m still grateful. Unfortunately, the company is now heading toward likely insolvency, and I was given a termination agreement. My last day will be July 31st. The good part is that they handled it much more kindly than they technically had to. I was still in my probation period, so they could have let me go with very little notice, but instead they gave me time to look for something new. Since then, I’ve applied to around a hundred jobs. One of them stood out to me immediately: the company name, the logo, what they do, the role itself. It felt different. Even though the ad said on-site and the location was far enough away that it would require travel, I applied anyway. I thought, “What’s the worst they can say besides no?” Then I got the first interview. It went well. I was honest about the distance and the fact that I would be willing to travel, and they were open to that. I sent a thank-you email afterward and was invited to a second interview. The second interview also went really well. They explained that even though the advert said on-site, the role would actually be hybrid because they are only in the office three days a week. Again, I was open about being willing to make it work. The conversation ran over time, which felt like a good sign, and afterward I sent another thank-you email. Then I was invited to a third interview on-site. On my way there, a bird pooped on me, which I’ve been told is good luck. After cleaning that up and making it to the interview, I gave a presentation, and that went well too. The hiring manager told me I was the first of three on-site interviews, but that she strongly felt I was her top pick — not just because I had gone first, but because she had already felt that after the second interview. I don't think she would have said that had she not meant it.

... you only meet yourself. There's a lot in this little journal entry. I find it helpful to flip through previous journal entries and reflect. Also, to remind myself of the lessons I forget, no matter how recent. Here is one from a few weeks ago. The same thing happens in the body when we feel fear and excitement or arousal... Elevated heart rate, sweat, pupils dilate, blood rushed to the lower half (to run, to dance, or for monkey business). The only difference is that fear is excitement without breath. We freeze. This is why often what we fear, manifests itself so easily because our systems can mistake it for arousal. (Recommended read: Existential Kink by Dr. Carolyn Elliot).