A recent experience/moment of self discovery. Any and all advice welcome

Hey everyone, this is a rather long one, so if anyone does make it through to the end, a big thank you for taking the time to read through this. This one is hard to share. Here goes.

I was at a festival recently with a bunch of friends. It was our first big one together, and we all had an amazing, bonding experience. It felt as though our friendship grew as a result of all our experiences together, and that our bond has now become sealed into cement -- into eternity if you will.

At this festival, we ended up hanging out throughout with our camping neighbours, and brought them into our reality. My interpretation of this looking back was that they were so attracted to our vibe that they felt compelled to drawn to us, and ended up having a great time with us. In my mind, that then created a bond with them too that I believe was a strong one.

I ended up growing close with both of them, but particularly one of the girls. Long story short: this girl was someone a friend of mine has had a crush on for a while, and so I didn't allow myself to even open up the possibility of her and me being together, however, over the course of the three days, my friends kept pushing this idea onto me that her and I work well together, and asked me "why I wasn't making a move?"

The reality being: I wouldn't pursue anything with her without first having a chat whit my friend about it first. That was my reasoning.

After coming back from the festival, I began to allow my mind to wander and explore this possibility of me and this girl being together, and felt my energy shift towards a less grounded, less in my own frame one, to an almost needy, "willing for this to happen" one. Already being in a vulnerable state dealing with the afterglow of the festival -- or post festival "blues," if you will, I pursued this channel briefly, speaking to her on and off, with the potential of us meeting up again.

The response I have got is a cold one. There is next to nothing I am getting back from this girl now that we are back in "reality" -- the festival being an "escape," and thus I have started to feel as though I fucked up, and have lost an opportunity. This comes from a variety of my past experiences where I have met someone that has blown me away, and I have pursued them with a state of full vulnerability and no thought for my own well being, and been "burned" as a result.

Now I am stuck in this state of "I fucked up; I have lost another opportunity; I should keep myself closed off because that saves me from being burned." This is a recurring pattern of behaviour for me. Anytime something doesn't go "my way," I tend to take it all in and hold on to this idea that the reason it didn't work out was that it was "my fault," -- hence the feeling of " I fucked up."

I haven't felt this spark, excitement about a girl in a very long time, and earlier when I had allowed my mind to wander I noticed that I was projecting certain future scenarios of my and this girl being together. In many ways I was giving my energy away without having any control of doing so. I knew I was doing it, but I couldn't stop myself from doing so.

Bottom line: I am now in this state of begrudging acceptance that this might not truly happen, and am focused on moving on and taking back my energy and attempting to stay more grounded. But what I would like to ask you guys is

a) if anyone has experienced something similar, and if so, what their experience was like, and how they dealt with it?

b) how and what I can do to learn about why I feel like everything is my fault, and what I can do to get over this?

Thanks again for reading if you have made it this far. Looking forward to reading your responses

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A recent experience/moment of self discovery. Any and all advice welcome