Copy Translation · Copywriting Launchpad

Copy Translation

Hi all, please find below my attempt at the copy translation exercise. Any thoughts and suggestions welcome :) . Thanks

[email] Subject line: have you seen our ads everywhere yet?

[email] Hey - have you seen our ads yet? -

[my analysis] Intriguing lead, building curiosity.

[email] If you've been online at all this week, my guess is you have. We're spending about $150,000 a day on ads right now, and over 1,000,000 people have already registered...

[my analysis] Value +safe. If they’re spending $$$ its got be be worth it, plus 1,000,000 people can’t be wrong. Also authority and credibility through ad spend and sign ups.

[email] So let me tell you what's actually going on. :)

[my analysis] Revisiting the curiosity

[email] I partnered up with Iman Gadzhi - one of the fastest growing names in this entire industry - to do something called the Side Hustle Summit.

[my analysis] Fastest growing names =New + context for the reader.

[email] Go Get Your Free Ticket To The Side Hustle Summit >>

[my analysis] CTA

[email] Here's what I love about this one...

[my analysis] Backing it up

[email] You don't have to quit your job to do it.

[my analysis] Easy and low risk

[email] No risk. You don't give up your security. You don't blow up your certainty. Everything in your life stays exactly where it is...

[my analysis] Safe

[email] You just start a side hustle.

[my analysis] Hope

[email] Then we show you how to grow that side hustle until it's making MORE than your main hustle... and THEN you quit your job. Responsibly. On your terms.

[my analysis]

Value+ Easy+ Useful. Big. Safe

[email]That's the whole thing. And honestly it might be the coolest model I've ever seen for a beginner. [my analysis] Understandable.

[email] It starts September 6th. It's 5 days. It's completely FREE.

[my analysis] Safe + value. Also specificity

[email] Register For The Side Hustle Summit (FREE) >>

[my analysis] CTA

[email] I'm flying to Dubai to do this with him. Don't miss it.

[my insights] FOMO and credibility. Qualifies audience.

[email] Thanks, Russell Brunson

[email] P.S. Don't forget, you're just one funnel away…

[my insights] New/hope.+ offer/pitch

[my Insights and rewrites:]

Over all the copy is very good, concise and clear. Short sentences wrapped up in 20 lines or less makes reading easy. The subject is the same as the first line which I would change as I don’t consider it noteworthy enough to repeat. The all lowercase subject line is very informal, like something you’d get from a friend which helps build a sense of relationship/trust.

Interestingly in this copy the focus is on the ad push rather than the offer. The main emotion that comes across from this copy to me is FOMO and one tool they use to push this emotion is Russel’s authority in this field. I find myself questioning if there’s something wrong with my algorithm for not seeing these ads sooner.

The copy know its audience and leans into the fact they are very much brand aware.

One suggestion I might make to improve the intro -

[original email] Subject line: have you seen our ads everywhere yet?

Hey - have you seen our ads yet? -

If you've been online at all this week, my guess is you have. We're spending about $150,000 a day on ads right now, and over 1,000,000 people have already registered...

So let me tell you what's actually going on. :)

[my analysis] Could be more intriguing + I wouldn’t start with a question where the reader could reply “No” to. This might result in them skipping the email. Instead I would, re-word to something where they couldn’t object and is also more curiosity driven. See my suggestion below–

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[my rewrite] Subject: you should know already…

Hey, If you’ve spent any time behind a screen this week you’ll have seen us everywhere.

We're spending about $150,000 a day on ads right now, and over 1,000,000 people have already registered...

So let me tell you what's actually going on. :)

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Copy Translation