Overwhelmed… · Brotherhood Of Scent

Overwhelmed…

Brothers and Sisters,

I don’t even know where to begin. I truly can’t put into words how blessed I feel tonight.

I just came home from visiting one of my dearest friends after months of not being able to see him. What happened there was something I never expected, and honestly… it took me a couple of hours to fully process.

Let me explain.

As many of you know, I used to manage an LGBTQ+ bar that welcomed not just our Qmunity, but anyone who believed in friendship, laughter, and belonging. Earlier this year, my good friend—the owner of the bar—passed away. I fought with everything I had to reopen those doors. So many incredible people stood beside me, hoping we could bring it back to life. In the end, though, it wasn’t meant to be, and in May, that dream quietly came to an end.

Losing my friend hit me harder than I ever let on.

Over these last several months, I stepped back from my adult alternative lifestyle and even from parts of the Qmunity so I could heal. Many of you already know what became my therapy. Fragrances reminded me that healing sometimes arrives on the wings of scent. Cigars reminded me to slow down, breathe deeply, and reclaim moments that belonged solely to me. Being a Cigarlier became less about the cigar itself and more about the ritual of choosing myself for a little while.

But emotionally… that was the hardest battle.

The grief was mostly silent.

I held myself together because of the love from my local Qmunity, from this incredible fragrance family, and from my beautiful partners, who never stopped reminding me that I wasn’t carrying it alone. Then came another blessing: leaving a job I wanted so badly to love—but only stayed in for the paycheck—and returning to a company that genuinely feels like home again.

Even Superman has his moments with kryptonite.

Some days left scars.

Tonight, my friend invited me over for cigars. For about ninety minutes, we talked about everything under the sun—life, people, dreams, fools, kings… the kind of conversations that only happen when good tobacco, good company, and honesty meet.

Then he said something that stopped me in my tracks.

He told me he’d been watching me over these past several months. He spoke about the struggle I’d been carrying, about the fight to save the bar, about caring for my mother through her dementia and helping my father navigate the many layers of his health challenges. He said the way I’d handled it all hadn’t gone unnoticed… and that the admiration and compliments were well deserved.

I thought that was the end of the evening.

It wasn’t.

As I was getting ready to leave, he handed me a bag.

Inside wasn’t a discovery set.

It wasn’t a handful of samples.

It was four full-sized bottles of fragrance.

Brothers… Sisters… I got emotional.

Truth be told, I still am.

So tonight, I can’t give these fragrances the detailed breakdown they deserve. That will come after I’ve spent proper time with each of them. For now, I’m simply overwhelmed with gratitude and wanted to share the incredible kindness that was shown to me.

Here’s what I was gifted:

• Lattafa Bade’e Al Oud Amethyst

• Michael Malul Ginger + Mist

• Lattafa Emaan

• Al Haramain Amber Oud (despite the name, don’t expect oud—think Xerjoff Erba Pura with an explosion of vibrant fruity notes.)

And yes… the presentations is gorgeous. The Amber Oud comes in a case with a metal nameplate, and the Emaan presentation includes a beautiful metal coin-style clasp. Little details that make the experience feel even more special.

Reviews will absolutely come.

But tonight, I just wanted to say thank you—to my friend, to all of you, and to everyone who helped carry me when I wasn’t strong enough to carry myself. Y oh all didn’t know it, but you truly helped me get over the battles I waged.

Tonight reminded me of something I’ve always believed:

The kindness, love, and compassion you put into the world have a remarkable way of finding their way back to you.

Maybe not when you expect it.

But exactly when you need it.

Good night, my friends.

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Overwhelmed…