Addition Before Subtraction: Why Real Change Starts by Adding, Not Fighting Yourself
One of the biggest patterns I see when coaching people, and one I lived myself through every transition, is this urge to overhaul everything at once. We decide to “get healthy,” “go raw,” or “start working out,” and our brain immediately jumps to elimination mode. No more this. Never again that. All or nothing. But real change does not work like that. And more importantly, your brain is not wired for it. Here is something simple that says a lot. When you decide to start exercising, you do not immediately stop sitting. You add movement into your life first. You still sit. You still rest. You build capacity. That same principle applies to food, habits, and identity shifts. Why the brain needs addition first From a psychology perspective, the brain learns safety and capability through success. When you add one doable action, your nervous system gets evidence that says, “I can do this.” That evidence matters. Small wins create dopamine, not deprivation. Dopamine is what builds motivation over time. When you jump straight to elimination, especially with food, the brain often interprets it as threat or deprivation. That is when cravings increase, resistance shows up, and the familiar stop start cycle begins. It is not because you are weak. It is because your brain is doing its job to protect you. Addition gives your brain proof before you ask it to let go of anything. Reduction is powerful, elimination is earned There is also real power in reduction. Reducing before eliminating creates flexibility and trust. You are not telling your body, “You are wrong.” You are saying, “We are learning something new together.” Think of it like a dimmer switch instead of an on off button. Instead of cutting out cooked food completely, you reduce the portion. Instead of removing comfort foods, you delay them. Instead of forcing perfection, you build preference. This is how habits actually stick. What “delaying” looks like in real life Delaying is one of the most underrated tools in lifestyle change. It is not denial. It is sequencing.