Caught myself thinking about all the things that "I have" to do today. The reality is that, I don't "have to do anything". I "get to" or "I choose to" and in some cases, I even "want to". @Joshua Haag and I must have been on some kind of similar wavelength because after thinking about this and how I could incorporate it in a post, I saw his own IG post regarding 'get to' language. Notice the difference between saying “I have to do this” and “I get to do this” or “I choose to do this.” Same action, totally different internal experience. And your brain absolutely notices! What’s actually going on psychologically? “I have to” frames an action as a demand or threat. Your brain tends to interpret this as a loss of control. That can activate stress responses, especially in the amygdala, the part of the brain that scans for danger and pressure. When that happens, motivation drops and resistance increases, even if the task itself is small. ******“I get to” or “I choose to” shifts the frame to agency. Yay FREEDOM!! This engages parts of the prefrontal cortex, which is involved in decision-making, meaning, and long-term thinking. Instead of feeling coerced, your brain feels like it is participating. That sense of choice boosts intrinsic motivation and reduces stress.***** Choice language matters beeecause: 1)It restores a sense of autonomy, which humans are wired to crave 2) It reduces threat perception and stress hormones 3)It increases follow-through because the action feels self-directed. 4) also...It builds identity. You are someone who chooses, not someone who is pushed or coerced. *This is not about toxic positivity or pretending everything is amazing. Forget that noise. Sometimes things are annoying, boring, or genuinely hard. The shift is about acknowledging reality while also reclaiming agency. You can still dislike something and choose it at the same time! :) (the video talks about the paradox of choice---talks about how choice has made us more paralyzed as opposed to more free...I may add this video to a different topic later on but I liked that it touched on freedom and in this way it is relates to today's topic).

A Timothy Morton concept. Continuing isn’t a linear march down a pre-cut path. It’s an act of weaving yourself more deeply into the interconnected “mesh” of life. Each step of persistence strengthens the entire network and creates new connections you can rely on.

🔥 RELATING TO OTHERS IS NOT YOUR EXCUSE TO STAY SMALL (post inspired by a recent conversation with @Steve Webb in his group! Also @Dr. Melissa Partaka had a recent podcast with someone that touched on changing course and not needing to be stuck ) It feels powerful to be understood. Co-regulation, empathy and validation help calm the nervous system and reduce emotional overload. But...let’s be honest for a second...Too many people stop there. They feel seen, they feel validated, and then they camp out in the same place that has been holding them back.Compassion helps you stabilize, but stability is fuel for forward motion, not an excuse to stay comfortable. Just because compassion brings comfort doesn'tmean that we need to lay in that bed. Some science because why not nerd it out a little bit? Empathy reduces shame activation, which is important because shame triggers the threat system and suppresses prefrontal cortex functioning. When that part of the brain goes offline, motivation, planning and healthy decision making become harder. It's more likely to keep us stuck. This is why shame rarely produces real change. Here's the thing though, compassion is not the finish line and validation does not need to equal resignation. It is the starting line.Validation gets you out of fight or freeze, but what you do next is on you and this matters. ✨ Striving for Excellence Excellence is about alignment with values and taking consistent action towards them. It involves using strengths/skills/abilities and practicing intentionality and taking actions that support long term wellbeing. It's a daily choice to rise even when it hurts--this is resilience in motion and ownership. Grit, if you wanna call it that. You can offer yourself compassion for where you are while STILL directing yourself toward growth. You can hold both truths:“I understand why I feel this way” and “I am capable of choosing something healthier.”

We are one week away from November, a month that's often associated with gratitude/thanksgiving, at least here in the U.S. Many of us will undoubtedly be participating in some sort of gratitude practice or challenge. I figured I'd post this now in preparation for that time, to maybe help us deepen our practice beyond the list. Many of the recommendations for gratitude practice indicate something along the lines of "name 3 things that you are thankful for today". This is lovely and great if we aren't already doing that. The practice below is to help move us from the cognitive experience of gratitude to actually embodying it--experiencing it fully: mind, body, spirit. It also integrates past, present, and future and helps with the attunement with the self (thoughts, feelings) ************ 🔥So here are the steps for a more embodied gratitude practice: 1)Name the thing/person/experience for which you are thankful--this is just regular labeling :) 2)Identify memories or impressions associated with the thing/person/experience for which you are thankful 3)Think about the bigger picture of how it impacted you/helped you grow 4)Identify the feelings associated with the thing/person/experience for which you are thankful for as you are practicing gratitude (feelings can be named but also tune in to see where in your body you're experiencing the feelings) 5)Identify a hope or prayer that you have for that thing/person or yourself in relation to the thing/person you're thankful for. ************* Gonna get nerdy for a second and add some science to the mix because I like when science backs the lived experience! It's kinda cool! 💛 The Science and Practice of Gratitude Gratitude isn’t just about being “positive.” It’s a deeply regulating practice that can rewire the brain for greater emotional balance, connection, and resilience. When practiced intentionally, gratitude activates specific brain regions that help us feel safer, calmer, and more open to joy. Research in neuroscience and psychology shows that consistent gratitude practice can: