The Balcony View-Gaining Perspective Without Disconnecting The "balcony view" is a psychological skill that often gets overlooked and is underutilized IMHO, yet it can change the entire tone of how we respond to stress and heightened emotion situations. Instead of getting swept up in the heat of the moment, this is an opportunity to mentally step up to a higher perspective and look at the situation like you are watching it unfold from above. This creates just enough distance to think more clearly. Nerd Alert (some science behind it): The balcony view works because it activates metacognition (awareness of our own thoughts/thinking) and recruits areas of the prefrontal cortex that support reflection, emotional regulation, and decision making. The ventromedial prefrontal cortex calms the fear (fight/flight/freeze/fawn ) response. The anterior cingulate cortex helps shift attention so you can see the bigger picture instead of fixating on the trigger. This is very different from dissociation. Dissociation pulls you into fog and detachment. The balcony view pulls you into clarity and a level of control/intentionality. It's a strategic shift so that emotions are there to inform but not to be in the driver's seat. It's a way to increase emotional intelligence and when engaged it has the potential to diffuse heightened situations. How to do it: To practice it, take a deep breath and pause before reacting Imagine yourself taking a few mental steps upward (as if climbing to get the balcony view of a play) and then watch the scene as if it were happening on a stage. Notice the facts, the emotions, and the choices available. No judgment--if there are judgments, notice them as such. The point of this is to just observe the situation and gather information. The more you use it, the easier it becomes to respond with clarity instead of impulse. (and a resource on processing emotions :) ). What are your strategies for making space for and honoring your emotions but not letting them rule in a conflict?

A little personal background (not necessary to read to get the content below): Back in 2017 I had decided that 2018 was going to be a "Year of Yes" (title inspired by Shonda Rhymes--creator of Grey's Anatomy and Scandal). Out of necessity rather than desire, I've had to make some bold and uncomfortable moves in 2017 and I told myself that 2018 had to be different.. It HAD to for my own sanity..I didn't want to be a spectator in my own life and wanted to be an active agent... So...that year consisted of saying yes to all sorts of things--yes to doing deep work (thank you Bible/God, thank you Brene Brown, thank you other books and friends), yes to things that scared me (e.g. speaking at a seminar, doing a radio show, running a self esteem workshop, doing activities solo, saying 'no' to things that didn't fit what I actually needed), saying yes to different connections ( @LaTanya Carter -I appreciate you more than you'll ever know!!!) . I stumbled A LOT and fell often, but I also became more confident, more independent, more conscientious of boundaries, more of myself. As a result of 2018, 2019 became my 'resurrection' year or my 'phoenix' year. Rising from the ashes. (Funny that it coincided with my 33rd year in life-maybe that's why I called it the resurrection year). So....as I'm reflecting on this past year and coming up into the next, I figured it's time...It's time for another "Year of Yes". I think it's been brewing. ______________BEGIN THE REAL POST________________________________ *Please watch the video if you have th time. :) :) People hear the phrase a "Year of Yes" and automatically think that it means impulsive decisions, saying yes to a bunch of new activities, being busy with all sorts of things, "bucket list"...But the reality is that it's more like..exposure therapy for the soul. It's breaking up with things that hold you back from living an aligned life. It's saying no to things like unhelpful fear, perfectionism, people pleasing, overthinking, self-doubt and the "maybe later" type language.

As the "busy" holiday season approaches, I'm hearing a lot of people talk about the stress that they feel in their lives, so I figured I'd write a little bit about stress. Most of us grew up thinking stress is the enemy, something to try to get rid of and vanquish. The thing ruining our cortisol levels and creating toxins in the cells and killing them. While it's true that chronic stress can absolutely wear you down, the fuller story can be more empowering. Stress is NOT always harmful. In many cases, stress is a built in biological performance booster which can be a cool force to our advantage. The problem is not stress itself but how we interpret it and how long it stays turned on. Here are some different ways to think about stress: 💪Stress is Not the Enemy Stress is a natural activation signal from your nervous system. It increases alertness, sharpens attention, and helps you rise to a challenge. This sounds like a good thing, right? Short term stress can -increase focus -boost motivation -improve memory -sharpen problem solving -strengthen resilience -create meaning, because we only stress about what matters When we interpret stress as a resource/partner rather than a threat, your body responds differently. The narratives that we create matter. Our cardiovascular system functions better and our nervous system shifts into a more adaptive mode. A lot of research backs up the idea that our mindset really does matter significantly. Your mindset acts as a lens through which you see the world. It impacts what you notice and how you interpret different situations. This takes place through the confirmation bias so it's imperative to look at what we believe about ourselves and the world because we have the endency to look for information that matches our beliefs. 💥 When Stress Becomes Harmful Stress becomes destructive when -it lasts too long -you feel trapped -you feel unsupported -you have no sense of control/level of autonomy -your body never gets a recovery window

Greetings fellow empowered beings!! :) As we're approaching this last month, let's take a look at the past year (things we've achieved, lessons we've learned, things we've left behind and added) and let's use that to mobilize us in this next month. Let's use this last month of the year to build momentum and get a running start into 2026. We don't have to wait.... We treat January like it has magical powers when really it is just a month with better PR. Psychologically speaking, December is prime time for momentum building. It is the month where the brain naturally shifts into reflection mode, which means insight is already simmering and it might make it the perfect time to launch! A lot of people experience SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) in the winter months--- so I think that it's really really important to look at the habits that we engage in and how this either contributes, reinforces or helps ease this effect. (side note--with my clients in Michigan, I start having conversations about this in September because the weather here along with the habits really influence people's experiences for 6 months at a time!! We can't control the weather, BUT we can do things differently). *****So, how are you using December and what are your intentions? *****How will you use this past year as a way to move into the next? Here are some questions to consider as you look back on your past year (questions are part of an AAR (After Action Review). 1. What did we intend to accomplish (what was our strategy)? 2. What did we do (how did we execute relative to our strategy)? 3. Why did it happen that way (why was there a difference between strategy and execution)? 4. What will we do to adapt our strategy or refine our execution for a better outcome OR how do we repeat our success?

I was looking on one of our bookshelves this morning and I saw this book "Anam Cara: A book of Celtic Wisdom". I still haven't read it (my TBR list is HEFTY), but the title (along with recent separate conversations with @John D and @Dr. Melissa Partaka ) made me think of friendships and the type of friendships that are really soul nourishing and the types that just seem to be...not that. The people we walk with in our life shape our nervous system, influence our stress responses, and affect the health of our brains (prefrontal cortex, amygdala, and reward pathways). The impact of the company we keep is significant and so important for our health and longevity. "Social connection is widely acknowledged to be a fundamental human need, linked to higher well‐being, safety, resilience and prosperity, and to longer lifespan" (Social connection as a critical factor for mental and physical health: evidence, trends, challenges, and future implications - PMC) We live in a world where we have so much potential for access and yet we are facing a loneliness epidemic. People are feeling disconnected, lonely, isolated. So...how can we connect? Part of it is assessing and surrounding ourselves with individuals that nourish us. Two concepts to help identify what good friendships feel like: Anam Cara comes from Celtic tradition and means soul friend. "Soul Friend" - the kind of relationship where you feel seen, known, and accepted at a deep level. It removes the masks and creates space for honesty, healing, and growth. People often feel disconnected because they don't experience these things. To see and be seen is one of the greatest gifts of good relationships. Philia is the Greek word for affectionate friendship. It describes loyal, supportive, mutually respectful connection. It is friendship based on virtue, trust, and shared goodwill. It's a relationship that looks out for the benefit of the other. :)