What I’ve learned in the last 18 months with grief and exhaustion is this : if you’re tired… you don’t have to explain yourself. You don’t have to prove you’ve earned rest. There’s a kind of exhaustion that comes from being strong for too long… the quiet kind no one sees. The kind that keeps showing up, smiling, carrying it all… even when it’s heavy before the day even begins. You don’t complain. You just keep going. But strength isn’t pretending nothing hurts. It’s knowing when to set something down. Whatever you’re holding the pressure, the grief, the worry you don’t say out loud… you’re allowed to loosen your grip for a moment. Nothing is going to fall apart because you paused. You don’t owe exhaustion anything. Rest isn’t quitting… it’s care. You are not broken. You are not behind. You are human. And if no one has said it lately… your grief is seen and you are loved you’ve done enough for today.

April 15 is stressful now. Running to pick up completed taxes, paying the IRS. And my debit card gets hacked last night! Trying to work and do all the things that my husband took care of is overwhelming at times. I don’t always feel like I have enough time to do the necessary grief work. Not enuf time and too much all at the same time. Time is strange.

Three months today. Haven’t been doing very well for the past few days. This time next week we will be spreading her ashes. I told my sister-in-law (Kim’s sister) that I was stuck on the grief side of TikTok. She told me maybe I should get off of grief TikTok (in a loving way). I don’t know how to tell her that it helps to know I’m not alone in this. This club that none of us want to belong to.

Today would have been Terry’s 51st. I still don’t fully know how to process this day. Because part of me resists calling it a birthday… she didn’t get another year. She didn’t get more time. And yet ignoring it feels just as wrong. This is the part of grief people don’t talk about— how we end up living between dates. The day they were born. The day they died. Both major in completely different ways. And when someone dies the way Terry did, it adds another layer of confusion. So I use today the only way that feels honest for me now— to tell the truth. She didn’t leave because she didn’t love. She didn’t leave because she didn’t care. And she didn’t leave because she “chose” to in the way people think. Her mind was unwell. She suffered an illness of the kind. And that’s how she died. And when the mind is unwell, it can become incredibly convincing. It can narrow everything down to pain… and make escape feel like the only option. That’s not a character flaw. It’s suffering. So no, I’m not celebrating in the traditional sense today. But I am honoring her— by speaking about this in a way that removes blame and replaces it with understanding. If you’ve ever felt that same tension on days like this… you’re not the only one trying to make sense of it. That’s Terry and I in the video below. 24 more hours to take advantage of Terry Birthday Giveaway and become a Globally Certified Grief Educator for $51. Link here - we NEED people like YOU http://mastergrief.com/terrybirthday

Tomorrow is my late partner’s birthday. She would have been 51. And every year, I try to do something that gives back. Not in a big, performative way… just in a way that feels right. Because I’ve learned this in my own life—the only way I’ve been able to change my grief… is by turning it into something that helps someone else. So this year, for her 51st birthday, I’m doing something to help you all find Purpose in your Pain. I’m opening up the solo course to become a grief coach for $51. This is your opportunity to become a globally certified grief coach, accredited in 82 countries. But more than that… this is personal for me. This is my gift to Terry. Because the way I keep her alive in my life isn’t by holding onto the past…it’s by continuing to do something meaningful with what we went through. And part of that is helping more people understand this: Grief is not the end of your story. You can grieve with more love than pain.You can rebuild meaning.You can create a new vision for your life, even after loss. And sometimes… the way we do that is by helping someone else find their way through it too. So if you’ve felt that pull… even a little… Come join us. The Secret to Living IS Giving.... Click the link below to join us as a global grief educator. Let’s do something meaningful with this 🤍. And no- you're not too early in your grief to be a Grief Educator/Coach. This course will help you heal too. Link: https://mastergrief.com/terrybirthday Warmly, T