Beautiful! Thanks for sharing her with all of us!

This isn’t just about taxes or a hacked debit card... although that stuff is so hard and important. This is what we call secondary losses in grief— It’s not only losing your person, it’s losing the roles they held in your life. And now, without even choosing it, you’re being asked to take on those roles. When that happens, there are usually only three paths:You take over the role yourself, You hire someone to take it on.Or the role stops altogether. And none of those are simple decisions. Every option comes with emotional weight, mental load, and sometimes financial pressure. So of course it feels like too much. Because it is too much. You’re not just grieving—you’re restructuring an entire life. And that’s why it feels like there’s “not enough time” but also “too much at the same time.” Grief bends time. It compresses it and stretches it all at once. You’re trying to function in the present while your nervous system is still catching up to what changed. You’re not behind in your grief work. You're in it. Sometimes the work isn’t sitting down and processing—it’s surviving April 15th, figuring out taxes, dealing with banks, and still showing up to your life in the middle of loss. That counts. If anything, this is where self-compassion matters most. Not in doing more grief work—but in recognizing that what you’re carrying right now is already a full emotional load. You don’t need to do this perfectly.

@Tracy L cool. Let’s pick up this week. Same time?

@Tracy L 🫶🏻

That moment didn’t come out of nowhere. It makes sense. Smell is an activator like nothing else… one second you’re in your kitchen, next second you’re back with your dad, back in a life that felt different. And with everything you’ve been carrying—losing your brother, holding it together for everyone—that was just the moment your body couldn’t hold it in anymore. And listen… you crying like that? That wasn’t you breaking. That was it coming out. You’ve been trying to be strong for your kids, your mom… everybody. I get why you don’t want them to see it. But holding it all in doesn’t make it go away, it just builds pressure. Last night was that pressure releasing. There’s nothing wrong with that. Nothing. You didn’t lose control… you just felt it. And honestly, it makes sense it hit over something like chicken. Grief doesn’t care about timing. It just grabs onto whatever connects you to them. You’re carrying a lot right now. More than most people even realize. You don’t have to show everyone… but you also don’t have to carry it completely alone either. Tell me this—when you were crying… what part hurt the most in that moment?