How I like our towels (and even my underwear) folded. We’ve been folding towels together for 25 years, and he still folds them in a way that doesn’t fit in the cabinet. He doesn’t notice that I quietly refold his stack every time. It seems trivial, but little things can build up after a few days. Still, I remind myself there are bigger things to get upset about, so I just refold them and let it go.

Elf or Christmas Vacation

I usually start by admitting how hard it feels. I don’t like disappointing people or feeling like I’m letting anyone down.I feel God reminding me that my peace matters too. I ask for strength to stand firm and for softness to still love well. And when I hand it over to God, I feel that weight lift.

Pray and Meditate

Wow, this one really hits home for me. The last couple of years have been all about getting my husband healthy. I made sure he had everything he needed — AA meetings, marriage counseling twice a week, personal counseling, Men of Honor classes, church on Sundays, serving, finding a job… you name it. His calendar was packed, and I was the one making sure it all happened. Somewhere along the way, I completely lost myself. One day I hit a breaking point — total fight-or-flight mode — and it hit me that if I didn’t start working on me, it wouldn’t matter how much progress he made. So I told him, “Your calendar is yours now.” I had to step back and deal with my own resentment and anger, because otherwise our marriage didn’t stand a chance. This past year, I’ve actually done more therapy and counseling than he has — and I’m learning to love myself again. YES, myself. I used to think loving myself first meant I wasn’t being a good wife, but now I realize it’s the opposite. When I take care of me, I can show up so much better for him and for us. I still have my fight-or-flight days, but time (and a lot of prayer) is healing both of us. God really does have a way of stepping in when you finally let go.