I'm on my own at home at the moment. A rare thing. All of us, me, my lovely husband, our 2 adult boys are messy. We all operate a floordrobe, a piles of things system... and my frequent complaint is when someone else puts their things on top of my things. Left completely on my own I am slowly clearing work surfaces, cleaning - my open loop is to vacuum the lounge floor... My autism demands a clear, clean environment and without any other stresses I am slowly able to achieve that.

Someone mentioned “Tetris” on the call this morning. And I had to giggle. We had horrible storms come through Missouri yesterday and I made a joke that my Tetris skills came in handy as my husband and I managed to get our 3 cars into our 2 car garage. Not to mention it a 2-car with 2 single doors instead of 1 giant one. Thanks Tetris skills!

So I really didn’t do a real introduction because I didn’t really know if this was gonna be one of them other communities or something or some thing that didn’t work out to help or whatever. But I’m legally blind and have like 9% total vision and I’m colorblind. So I use like speech to text so a lot of my comments may seem rambling because my brain rambles 24 seven no matter how much medication I take. So I just wanted to introduce myself for real this home. I’m 36 before I got bored with school. I finish school at 11. I had my associates at 12 my bachelors at 13 in my masters at 14. But now, unfortunately, since I want to swap career path or I guess I never really went on a career path I kind of gave up to raise the kids. Now I took the LSAT I got a 180 but they don’t wanna take my credits from college because it’s been 22 years so I’m navigating this college life with ADHD and autism while raising ADHD and autistic little ones as a single parent and trying to pick up the pieces of our trauma filled lives. On the bright side, I’m six years sober, one of my children are home from foster care and I’m still fighting for the other, I also have sole custody of my exes two children. I’ve been on this parenting path since I unfortunately was forced into it at eleven. ( I gave birth to twins at the 11 fathered by my foster dad and watch them brutally murdered In Front of me. So I took my next set born at 13 and ran so I’ve been on my own since then). I guess I couldn’t get the normal supports because I was a runaway foster child. So at the moment, I’m in college again because I feel like I’ve lived through so much. There’s no way God put me through all this trauma if I’m not supposed to do something with it. So I feel like I’m gonna be a lawyer. In some way I’m gonna help children, domestic violence, people something I don’t know yet. I’m not doing it for the money. I’m doing it to change lives. I’m challenging myself to become the best me so that I can help other people escape the violence and trauma that I had to go through and become their best selves. It doesn’t all make sense to me yet, but that’s my goal. So anyway, nice to meet you all. I hope y’all don’t mind that I’m transgender and kick me out of the community please I’ve been kicked out of so many please don’t do me like that. Scared to share my truth so because y’all might kick me out, but y’all seem so supportive I feel like I can be honest about my identity with you guys. Hopefully, I’m right. Let’s go team let’s work on us and get better and stronger

I can't post the snippets from the AI thing today. It is far too personal. It has made me cry. I think I am finally feeling the grief that so many say comes when they are diagnosed. I couldn't see it before. I've been hiding from the world. So much early criticism from those closest to me, which continues to this day from some. These are people who say they care but they don't see me. They see the space that I occupy and how I don't fit in this world. I want to be me. Finally.

Just finished the first section of my ADHD Snapshot and realised something wild: I dismissed ADHD for years because my cousin "needed medication" and I didn't. Turns out my brain isn't built for solo execution, it's built for collaborative ignition. That's why I light up around people and shut down alone. Never had words for it before now.