My breakthrough story/Brain dump. So much still coming to the surface
I think my first memory of seeing/receiving violence was around three or four. My father used to beat my mother and us kids. At five years old, I became a thief. I would steal small things from shops. I would steal from my teachers. I would steal from my friends. I would steal from people’s houses I went and played at. I never applied myself at school. I never studied. I always got really low grades because I never even tried. I would never even try to take a test. I would just pretty much sit there because I just thought I was dumb. I heard that from a young age.My father used to hit us in front of people. He used to hit me in front of my friends and once I fell to the ground and when I got up, I peed my pants while my friend was over my house. I used to go to school with belt marks on the back of my legs. I had trouble with friends through school. I remember wanting to be with this group of friends but it was really inconsistent. One day they would be my friend and the next day they wouldn’t be and they’d kick me when we were sitting on the floor in class. It was really confusing. I didn’t want to play sport. I lied a lot. I would lie about who my family was. I would lie about having a brother when I didn’t. I would lie about this amazing life that I had at home, where it was not great at all. When I went to high school, the first year in high school, I only attended half of the year because I wagged the other half. I would not go to school. I would go to shops and steal. I would ring the school and tell them that there was a bomb in the school. I would be mean to teachers. I would be really nasty. I always wanted to be in the cool gang. I insulted other students. I was mean to them and on occasion would beat them up for no reason. I was the bully then. I stole a whole lot of money from my father out of a holiday bank account with a key card that I would steal out of his wallet every morning and put back at the end of the day. And over time, I stole a lot of money until he found out and actually charged me. I was 14 and I was sent into under-18s prison for that.