Howdy!

This sounds like it’s your nervous system coming down from survival-mode bonding. When things are hard or challenging, you feel activation. The “passion” is actually your survival system firing up. You are actually addicted/attached to the intensity because to you it feels like love. This, like most things we have to tackle on the path to awakening, is likely rooted in childhood trauma. The calm boredom is actually parasympathetic safety. Your body likely doesn’t recognize this lack of adrenaline as safe though. The calm is likely triggering your attachment wound. Some part of you thinks that love is vigilance, rather than peace. The way to transform this is to integrate it. You could use a simple affirmation like: “I’m safe now. Stillness is connection. I am learning to feel love without needing intensity.”

@Katia Saj this is one of my favorite “new” (to me) tricks for clearing my mind. I’m so glad it was helpful for you! That Eckhart Tolle might be on to something :)

@Derek Vine haha, actually, “nothing” is exactly what Eckhart Tolle was going for with this question! If you ask yourself “I wonder what my next thought will be?” And then become alert waiting for it, it is supposed to clear the mind. So, the good news is that your soul is very likely intact! Lol

The Dude!

@Ivana Murtaza Asfara I do not know your story, but I do know, at least to some extent, how you feel. I unintentionally started my enlightenment journey through body healing. My desire had nothing to do with enlightenment at the start —- I was just coming undone. I had chronic pain, chronic illness, I was miserable to be around when I would allow myself to be around other people (I isolated myself most of the time), and my depression and anxiety consumed me. I was not living. I wanted to check myself into a hospital, but couldn’t trust the healthcare system to actually help. I am a neurosciencentist and researcher, so I used those skills to trial and error myself back to health. I developed a whole protocol that I followed (I have several “pillar” elements that I still practice every day to maintain my nervous system, lymphatic system, and my glymphatic system). I would be happy to share it with you, but it can be a little overwhelming in the beginning. I would suggest you start with your fascia. It is so much more important than most people realize. When you experience trauma (even just day-to-day traumas), it is the fascia that holds it. I would recommend that you start with myofascial release techniques to target the fascia that is likely causing your jaw, back of the head, and back issues. Whether you decide to use my recommendation or not, I want to offer a blessing. (This is my first ever blessing —- apologies for any clumsiness.) May the places that hurt be met with the gentlest attention. May your body remember that it is safe to rest, loosen, and just be. 🙏 I did want to offer one other recommendation (yours to take or leave 😊). Many people find EMDR style exercises helpful when processing through some of those types of resentments. I am attaching a simple video that could help you in your healing practice.

I’m happy to share everything. You can message me whenever you feel ready for a little more, or want the whole routine. 💛