@Gerard Pietrykiewicz an unfortunate reality is, depending on the situation, you may not have the luxury of time to cool off or remove yourself from the situation that is aggravating you. I found that recently when I had to fire somebody this week (who did have bad intentions), things were moving fast and I always needed to be prepared for the next problem, hour-by-hour. In the end, what got me through was the reflection on my tenure and contributions at work; and the self-reassurance that everything I have done up to that point has been for the good of the company in some way, shape, or form (even things that do not superficially appear to be the case, as you are aware). The saying "do not attribute to malevolence, what can easily be explained by ignorance" is a powerful thing I often repeat to myself. In the end, I encourage you to be steadfast in your principle, and not allow the ignorance of others to erode the thing that makes you invaluable in a work setting; to not dirty the sacred trade of management with impulsive emotions. I suppose you can call it the 'stiff upper lip' approach. To leave you with another quote I like, often mistakenly attributed to Confucius: "It is only when mosquito lands on your [privates] that you realize there is a way to solve problems without using violence"

@Nauman Mithani I have personally experienced many moments where it would have been expedient to write a coworker off as being incompetent. However 9/10 theres something going on in their lives that is affecting their performance. Its those moments I often see as a golden opportunity to build a very trusting and strong working relationship with them; when I can see them as they are, not as I would like to see them.

One thing I would have liked to have known before becoming a manager was the social and emotional walls I had to build in order to be effective in the position. I started as a bottom-rung employee, and I knew everyone and was friends with everyone, so when I was promoted I found I had to build up distance with people. I couldnt be so ingrained in these peoples lives anymore, I couldnt participate in petty workplace drama. I had to become… impassive and benevolent. Frankly its kind of been an ongoing struggle, because I need to present an aura of fairness and authority, but I can often feel alienated. Perhaps it would be different if I came into a different job as a manager from the start!

Thank you Gerard, Nauman & Jeff, this actually helped me gain a bit of persective on how I was practicing some of these management techniques without even realizing it. The rest I will be considering on the most effective method of implementation. I appreciate all of your advice! 🙏