Whats draining and feeding my energy… well let’s put it this way. I am constantly “on” and rarely fully resting, even at night. I’m a stay-at-home mom homeschooling two girls, cooking nearly every meal from scratch, caring for animals, maintaining an off-grid home, cleaning, grocery shopping, managing appointments and trying to build a supplemental embroidery business on the side. I push through the day without enough intentional rest, hydration, and nourishment. Example will be I’ll eat maybe once a day cause cooking means dishes and less dishes means less work for me, less dishes I have to clean. Something that could strengthen me - starting my mornings better - (eat breakfast, working out, drinking lemon + salt water) I usually lay in bed in the morning cause I try to soak in as much quiet time before the kids awaken cause once they do I don’t get to stop much.

Pagan music. Artists like Heilung, Warduna, Faun, I’ve begun listening to this style of music more often but especially when I need to feel grounded. Music has always been my go to for emotional healing and processing.

I deserve to stand up for myself and not be bullied to make other people feel better

Wanting to blame others was strong with this reflection. I could feel it. There has been definite progress and growth in my life, and I definitely wouldn’t have been able to do it alone, but at the same time I feel extremely stuck and like I’m just waiting for my kids to grow up to finally do the things I want to do or go to the places I want to go. Many days I’m just so mentally exhausted I just live on autopilot, doing the things I know that need to be done around the house and just living my life on repeat with the occasional fun day thrown in. Not that being at home can’t be fun, but it’s just every day same shit different day it feels like… and I’ve just kind of accepted it, figured when the kids grow up then I can focus on myself because right now I give so much to everyone else and manage everyone else else’s emotions that I just suppress mine usually until I either blow up or have a meltdown. This past year I’ve really tried to find things for my own that make me happy, but again that’s where the lack of discipline comes in is sometimes the thought of something just seems so exhausting that I will just end up doing nothing.

Hey Everyone! How are you all doing? I'm very excited to start the quests here! Where do you all live? I'm in New Zealand